June 17, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Chronicle!

When is a found footage film not a found footage film?  When de makers mysteriously bail on de concept two turds of de way thru de movie.  Chronicle has distinktion of being de first (mostly) found footage superhero movie.  And dat about all dat make it distinkt.  It otherwise pretty standard fare. Our protagonist, Andrew,…

March 4, 2013: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews The Dark Knight!

Tree tings monster hate most in dis world: injustice, poverty, and movies dat run more den two hours.  Unless film be based on musty Russian novel, it have no business being so long.  Seriously!  Your movie be about a guy running around town in a cape punching people. It not exaktly Anna Carnita or Dr.…

December 17, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Lightspeed!

Dis movie suck more den Grover's aunt Tildy at a Shriner's convention. Movie begin wit guy walking down a dark alley where he encounter shaky creep hiding under dirty blanket.  To most sane people, dis be invitation to skedaddle.  But not dis guy.  He stand and watch as - in movie's most horrifying sequence -…

September 24, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Catwoman!

How can movie about sexy bendy girl who wear leather outfit and carry a whip not be good?  How possible?  Well, why not we run down pros and cons of Catwoman.  Cons: crappy akting, stoopid skript, lame direktion, annoying music, terruble speshul effekts.  Pros: Not longer den 104 minutes.  Hmmmm.  Monster tink we have our…

The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Hulk (2003)!

At one point during movie, monster get so enraged he charge into food court and start smashing, stomping, screaming, and trowing Sbarro pizza toppings at frightened children when - Oh, sorry.  Dis not scene from movie Hulk.  Dis was Cookie Monster's REACTION to movie Hulk, one of de most tortuously long and plodding superhero movies…

July 9, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews Spawn!

Ever have it when you need to write skript for movie, but tings are going slow so you invite Count and Big Bird to your place for drinks but you do too many jagermeister shots and one of girlz Count bring wit him slip roofie into your beer chaser and you wake up next morning…

May 28, 2012: The Supermovie of the Week Club Reconvenes! Cookie Monster reviews the 1995 Fantastic Four movie!

Dis movie nowhere near fantastic but, all in all, not de worst fan film monster have ever seen.  De skript be cliche and contrived, de akting hokey and over-de-top, and de special effekts soooo cheezy, but you have to remember dat dis movie not made by profeshiunals.  It a produkt of love by group of…