Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve done one of these!  Time to answer your hard-hitting questions…

Airelle writes: “What did you do with all the blueberries??”

Answer: I set aside a containerful for my houseguests, then froze the rest.  I’ll use them in my breakfast shakes.

Tam Dixon writes: “That picture with Lulu & Su is priceless! I suppose Su isn’t used to pets?”

Answer: She doesn’t have a pet, but she would LOVE a french bulldog.  I suspect Lulu knows this and has cranked up the cuteness to 11.

Fagate writes: “OK, you are finally working like us ordinary people.”

Answer: With the added bonus of arguing over subspace communications.  Or do you do that as well?

Fagate also writes: “Now, should we already begin to worry about the poor doctor member of the crew of your soon to be sci-fi series…will he die? Of course. The only problem is when!!”

Answer: To ensure we don’t fall back on old patterns, we have elected not to have a doctor on board the ship.

David Knowles writes: “Probably to much to hope it a Star Trek series, so here hoping it a show base on your dark matter comic book series or perhaps something entirely unexpected MGM getting it act together and commissioning a new Stargate show.

Answer: Star Trek?  No, they’ve already got that covered.  And MGM has Stargate covered as well with the planned reboot.  Sadly, I don’t think we’ll be seeing a new Stargate series for quite some time.

Gary Ansorge writes: “i doubt feeding a dog blueberries is really all that good for them,,,”

Answer: Oh, Akemi did the research.  They’re fine in moderation, providing the same antioxidants, fiber and phytochemicals we humans benefit from when we eat them.

dasndanger writes: “I had a dream about you last night, Joey. You gave me your phone number, then when I tried to call you never answered, and when you finally did answer you told me not to call! Then why did you give me your number?! Anyway, we decided it was best to keep our communication confined to the inter webs.  The dream made me feel sad and rejected. Big meanie.”

Answer: Well, that’s altogether bizarre because, as everyone knows, not only do I happily give out my phone number to anyone who will take it, I have also been known to foster needy Stargate fans as well.

Ponytail writes: “In that first picture up there, Akemi looks a little pregnant.”

Answer: It’s a sweatshirt with a pocket in the front for storing things.  No, not pregnant.  But I’ll pass along your well-wishes.

kabra writes: “Did I read somewhere here that you got a green light on one of your projects!!!??? ”

Answer: Yep, it’s true.  We’re back at it – pitching, spinning, breaking and writing.  Soon prepping.  Eventually, producing.

Tam Dixon writes: “Is Jelly sleeping later than 5?”

Answer: Yes.  She does a little melatonin before bedtime and now sleeps through the night.  Previously, she would wake up at all hours and cry.  I’d have to lay my hand on her back and she would eventually doze off.  And then be up at the crack of dawn!

Mark writes: “I just rewatched the Vegas episode of Stargate: Atlantis and there is one question burning me up. Did the Sheppard of that reality die in the dessert or was he just passed out and later rescued?”

Answer: Depends.  What do YOU think happened?  Did he die?  Did the ambulance get there in the nick of time and save his life?  Did the ambulance get there in the nick of time but accidentally park on him when they arrived on the scene?  There are as many possibilities as there are alternate universes!

Tam Dixon writes: “Is it normal for a show to have that many scripts done so fast?”

Answer: No.  Which is why you have a lot of shows that start off strong and then peter out as the season progresses, the result of productions scrambling to produce last minute scripts in order to make their delivery dates.  This extra lead time is a great (and greatly appreciated) luxury that will allow us to plot a season full of set-ups and payoffs.  No making it up as we go along.  We can introduce all sorts clues, foreshadow, develop some terrific twists and turns, all enroute to our shocking finale.

Tam Dixon writes: “How was “The Lost Fleet”?”

Answer: It was fine.  Reminiscent of David Weber’s Honor Harrington series although the characters aren’t as well drawn.

Duptiang writes: “Q: Has the book of the month club adjourned for the Summer? I might have missed something.”

Answer: Yep, we’re adjourned for the time being.

Duptiang also writes: “.Q: if the ship is using a form of elector magnetic radiation for the sensors how can it detect something going the speed of light or near in time.”

Answer: It’s not, so FTL travel isn’t an issue.  Instead of sensors, the crew will simply rely on their intuitions.

Duptiang also writes: “So will your ships have W.C.s? ”

Answer: Uh…depends.  What are W.C.’s?  World Cups?  Water Closets?  I’m going to say no.

I leave you with this awesome Grey Poupon commercial:

Looks like June is shaping up to be a busy travel month.  Yesterday, we were on the phone with our agents discussing the game plan for our L.A. trip.  We head down at the end of the month for a week of meetings and – much to our dismay – pitching.  Yes, we realize it’s a part of the business, but it’s not one we particularly enjoy.  Truth be told, we’re better on paper – which is why we much prefer to go in and discuss a script instead of some ethereal notion.  Anyone can come up with a hell of an engaging premise but, if you can’t deliver the goods in the form of a solid script, you’re not going to get anywhere.  And, at the end of the day, who are these people to know how capable we are as writers unless they’ve actually read us?  So, we reached a compromise.  We’ll be going out with two of our pilots in addition to some original pitches AND a few literary/anime properties worth pursuing.  Now it’s just a matter of narrowing that list down to a good, strong half-dozen.  Any suggestions?

What the hell did I do to my eye?  I woke up this morning to discover my right eye slightly inflamed.  I didn’t think anything of it until later today when Akemi noticed and asked: “What’s wrong with your eye?”. I checked it in the mirror and realized it had gotten a little more inflamed.  But I wasn’t feeling any pain or discomfort so I ignored it and went on with my day.  Then, later this afternoon, when I was getting my haircut, I was again asked: “What’s wrong with your eye?”. A closer look confirmed it was even more inflamed.  And, suddenly, it feels as if I have something trapped under my eyelid – some tiny grain of sand I can’t seem to dislodge.  Akemi offered me some Japanese eye drops and, as much as I appreciated the thought, I was somewhat reluctant to put something in my eye if I didn’t know exactly what it was.  According to the internet M.D.’s, I apparently shouldn’t worry about it.  Unless it starts to hurt.  Or lasts longer than two days.  I’m hoping I can just sleep it off – but that’s what got me into trouble in the first place!

I’m not quite ready to resort of home remedies, but made an exception for the chocolate chip peanut butter sandwich cookies Akemi made:

I know, I know.  Probably can’t help.

But certainly won’t hurt.

Mailbag:

dasndanger writes: “Joey, did you pick up the David Sedaris book because of the Daily Show link I posted back on the 9th? Just curious how much influence I have over you.   Anyhoo, how was the book? Worth the read?”

Answer: David Sedaris has long been one of my favorite writers so, while you didn’t introduce me to his work, your link alerted me to the fact that he had a new book out.  And, yes, it’s definitely worth the read although I much prefer his earlier work like Me Talk Pretty One Day and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim.

Keith writes: “I’ve got a question I’ve tried to ask a few times and have always missed the mailbag. I’ve been curious just how much thought and input goes into naming characters; ever since SGU had the character of Ron “Psycho” Stasiak turn into Ronald Greer by the time it was ready to shoot.  So how do you name characters?  Does a lot of time go into coming up with just the right name, or is it a quick “whatever pops into your head?”  Do other writers or people higher up often make you change character names, or are the first choices usually the final choices?”

Answer: Depends on the writer.  Paul used to consult the crew list for inspiration.  Brad and Rob would occasionally pay tribute to old friends by naming characters after them.  That’s how Caldwell got his name. Rodney as well.  Rob named him back when he was introduced on SG-1 and, years later, when we were considering McKay for Atlantis, we were dismayed to learn his first name.  We hated it at the time but, eventually, it grew on us.  And now, I can’t imagine McKay with any other name.  As for me – it really depends.  Sometimes a name will just come to me out of the blue while, other times, I’ll reference names from books I’ve read.  If you pay close attention to SG-1’s The Curse, you’ll notice that all of the secondary characters (Jordan, Rayner, Gardner) and the expedition (Stewart) coincidentally also happen to be the names of four Green Lanterns.

Ponytail writes: “Joe is Cas still there? What is he up to?”

Answer: Nope, Cas made his way back to his planet last week.

Airelle writes: “~Joe, how are your mom and sister doing? Loved to see moms cooking on the blog, always looks so delicious, and your sister puppies, how are they faring?”

Answer: Mom had athroscopic surgery on her knee and has been slow to recover.  Sis and puppies are doing well.  Thanks for asking.

Airelle also writes: “Do you still have the exercise regimen going? I know its how you all stay so trim, after eating the stuff you picture on the blog, or maybe you don’t always eat it like I think, and just take wonderful pictures,, more desserts please,.
thanks for sharing. Have a great day!”

Answer:  Yep.  I used to do weights in the morning and a 45 minute run every night.  Starting last week, I switched up my routine to focus more on weight training in an effort to put on some more muscle mass – in preparation for my L.A. trip!

Elminster writes: “How are the prospects of one of your shows getting developed. Or is it still “Smoooooth sailing”?”

Answer: Alas, not quite smooooth sailing.  At least not yet.  According to sources, we’ll have all our answers by end of next week.

In keeping with the t.v. theme, I thought it might be fun to take a trip down memory lane and imagine, not the best moments of your television-viewing history, but the weirdest.  I’m referring to those WTF? moments that either cause you to stop watching or to seriously question what the writers were smoking when they came up with “that” idea.  I’m not talking studio or network decisions, so no cancellations, only highly suspect creative choices.  I’m sure that, off the top of your respective heads, countless come to mind, from baffling leaps in logic to the deaths of beloved medical characters.  And I’d love to hear all about them.  But first, here is a list of My WTF? T.V. Moments.  Some are egregious.  Others are bizarre missteps magnified by the fact that they happened on otherwise amazing shows:

DALLAS: Forget that ever happened.

The ninth season of Dallas ended with the character of Pam Ewing walking into the bathroom and discovering her husband Bobby in the shower.  But how could this be?  Bobby was dead.  He’d been killed after being hit by a car the previous season.  How could the writers possibly resurrect the beloved character?  Easy.  They just hit the reset button by making the previous season a dream.  The ENTIRE SEASON! 31 episodes!  All a dream!  They used a narrative device that not even a fourth grader gets away with nowadays.  Hey, Dallas fans, that last year of your favorite show was one giant waste of your time.  Sorry. Wonder how the dvd’s for that ninth season sold in comparison?

ROSEANNE: Let’s make The Beverly Hillbillies instead!

At the beginning of the show’s ninth season, the Conners win the lottery!  108 million dollars!  So what changes for them?  Pretty much everything.  The lovable blue-collar family many viewers connected with over the years suddenly become the 90’s equivalent of The Beverly Hillbillies.  I didn’t watch the show but I know several people who did – and, boy, were they unhappy with the show’s strange, unfunny turn.  But the worst was yet to come…

ROSEANNE: Not quite Bobby in the shower but…

In the show’s ninth season series finale, the audience discovers that the whole lottery storyline was fantasy – not a dream but the imaginative writings of Roseanne Conner who reveals the entire show has been a slightly altered version of her real life.  Oh, and amiable hubby Dan died of a heart attack back in season 8.  Funny stuff.

THE WONDER YEARS: P.S. Dad dies.

Oh, come on!  In the series finale, Kevin reveals how things turn out for everyone. His best buddy Paul goes to Harvard.  His boyhood crush, Winnie Cooper, ends up studying art history in Paris.  His mother becomes a successful business woman.  And his dad…well, his dad drops dead of a heart attack two years later.  Wait!  What?!  Look, I’m all for bittersweet endings but this one feels forced because, in a previous episode, Kevin tells the audience how his father would eventually have a grandson of his own.  Now, unless Winnie got pregnant in this final episode and gave birth to a son before heading off to Paris, information Kevin elected NOT to make us privy to, then killing dad off is like a giant cheat.

SOUTH PARK – Carman’s real father is…!

South Park fans had to wait an entire hiatus – and then some – to learn the identity of Cartman’s father following the first season cliffhanger.  Eager fans tuned in to find out on April 1, 1998…Oh, wait. April 1st?  Instead of concluding the storyline, producers Matt Stone and Trey Parker pranked their audience by airing a totally unrelated episode titled “Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus”.  Good one, no?  No.  The audience responded by roundly criticizing the show and firing off some 2000 angry emails to Comedy Central.

24 – Really?  No, really?  NO, REALLY?

In the show’s first season, Jack Bauer’s wife and daughter are in a car, speeding away from pursuers.  Assuming she has lost them, Jack’s wife, Terri, gets out of the car and hurries back up the roadway to make sure.  Yes, that’s right.  She leaves the car to head back on foot to make sure (!).  Satisfied that the coast is clear, she walks back to the car…only to discover she happened to park it too close to the side of a ravine and the car has plummeted – with her daughter inside (!). She is so distraught that she collapses. And wakes up with amnesia (!). Trifecta.

DYNASTY – Duck and cover!

One of the most notorious season finales in television history finds the entire cast of characters gathered for a royal wedding in the fictitious nation of Moldavia when the festivities are interrupted by armed terrorists.  The chapel is strafed with bullets and, in the final, lingering shots all of the major characters lie, seemingly dead.  It came to be known as The Moldavian Massacre – although, in hindsight, maybe massacre was a bit of a stretch.  In the show’s sixth season premiere, we learn that only two minor characters died in the attack thereby confirming what every action movie has already proven – that bad guys are terrible shots.

THE SOPRANOS – Cut to black.

The show’s final sequence unfolds to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believin’ with the Soprano family – Tony, Carmella, and AJ – sitting in a diner while, outside, Meadow struggles to park.  Tony glances up as a suspicious character walks in and shoots him a look.  We cut back to Meadow parking.  Tony looks up as someone else walks into the diner.  Back to Meadow parking.  Then cut back to Tony.  Meadow parking.  The tension mounts.  The suspense is unbearable.  And then – we go to BLACK.  End of series.  In the days following, armchair experts went to great pains to analyze the symbolism of the finale, ferreting out clues from previous episodes to bolster their theory that Tony Soprano actually died when the screen cut to black – which only served to exacerbate the indignation of fans who felt they’d been left hanging. Really?  We were expected to piece together a bunch of esoteric clues in order to figure out the ending?  As it turned out, no.  According to show creator David Chase, Tony wasn’t whacked after all.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS – Murder in Dillon!

The first season of Friday Night Lights was incredible on every level – well-written, brilliantly acted, poignant and inspiring – atypical of many shows out there, so I suppose it should come as no surprise that it was struggling in the ratings.  But FNL was a critical darling and received a second season pick-up nonetheless.  And when it came back, for some reason (Insert your own theory here.  I certainly have mine.), the writers elected to work in a a sub-plot involving gosh-shucks geek Landry accidentally killing a would-be rapist.  Suddenly, the wonderful character-driven stories were overshadowed by this completely out-of-place narrative that would have been better suited to an episode of Law and Order.  Panned by critics, the story was quickly wrapped up – and never referred to again.

MAD MEN – I ate a bad sandwich.

Don’t get me wrong.  I think the show is brilliant and well-deserving of all of the accolades it has received, which is why it made this list – on the basis of a dramatic turn at the end of the show’s first season that was, well, in sharp contrast to EVERYTHING ELSE.  Don Draper’s carousel speech is some of the best writing ever committed to script. On the other hand, the whole “surprise” that ends this episode seems like something completely out of place for such a grounded show. Secretary Peggy is feeling under the weather and goes to see a doctor. She assumes she “ate a bad sandwich”.  But it isn’t a bad sandwich after all.  Peggy is pregnant.  Pregnant and IN LABOR!  Cut to the next scene – where she is presented with her new baby.  Now wait a minute! I understand people can be naive and, in some cases, it takes them a while to catch on – but this character was nine months pregnant and didn’t have a clue!  I know it happens, but rarely, and when it does it’s to very heavy women who may not have noticed the extra weight gain. It’s as if I was watching a completely different show.

BREAKING BAD – Heads up!

Not even one of my very favorite shows is immune to the occasional questionable call.  The second season of the show kicks off with disquieting hints of an atrocity to come,  starting with the eye of some stuffed animal floating in a swimming pool and progressing to body bags being lined up on a quiet residential suburban street.  It builds and builds over the course of those thirteen episodes, finally paying off in the form of – a mid-air plane crash.  Huh?  Sure, one can argue that Walter was indirectly responsible for the carnage since he did kill the grieving air traffic controller’s daughter but, all the same, for  a show that has built a solid rep for tight scripting, this felt like a bait-and-switch.

Care to chime in?  Let’s hear your WTF T.V. Moments.