July 26, 2018: Joseph Mallozzi’s Top 10 Funnest Episodes!

Oh, sure.  As a viewer, your mileage may vary.  But, looking over the list of 100+ episodes of television on which I’ve been credited or co-credited as a writer, THESE were the ten I had the most fun writing…

Honorable Mentions…

The Ties That Bind/It’s Good To Be King (Stargate SG-1)

Yeah, it’s always the way.  You decide to do a Top 10, put together a long list, start narrowing it down and, in the end, you’re always left with 12.  So, rather than cast them aside, I include these two as Honorable Mentions, two scripts that were much fun to write but, to be honest, for one reason or another, didn’t fully deliver in the end.

#10

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Wormhole X-Treme (Stargate: SG-1)

No one can truly appreciate the banality, frustrations, and sheer ridiculousness of producing television unless they actually work in the industry…OR watch a show in which it is mercilessly lampooned.  Sci-fi handwavium, ruthless broadcasters, sexy female alien-obsessed executives – it’s all here.

#9

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Stuff To Steal, People To Kill (Dark Matter)

The only thing I love more than a good time travel episode is a good alternate reality episode, and this one was a blast delving into the colorful personalities of the badder versions of our bad guys.

#8

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Point of No Return (Stargate SG-1)

One of the things I loved about Stargate was the creative allowance it gave us to write humor.  I always reflect back fondly on this episode as one of the first instances in which we were just let loose to script the story as we envisioned it – conspiracy kook, Teal’c on the motel massage bed, and all.

#7

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Remnants (Stargate: Atlantis)

I’ve always been fan of multi-story scripts, especially when those seemingly disparate tales neatly dovetail at episode’s end.  Still, the highlight of this episode for me was Robert Picardo’s Woolsey,  a character who had come such a long way since his introduction back on SG-1.  He’d gone from pencil pushing jerk to principled ally and in this episode, his journey to redemption is fully completed thanks, in large part, to the terrific comedic timing of Bob Picardo who made Woolsey at turns vulnerable, sympathetic, and gosh darn lovable.

#6

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Kill Them All (Dark Matter)

What did I just say about those various moving pieces of the narrative ultimately falling into place?  Yes, in the worlds of Hannibal Smith: “I love it when a plan comes together.” and the moment FIVE utters this episode’s title phrase, it DOES come together in fast and furious fashion.

#5

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Ripple Effect (Stargate: SG-1)

This delightfully bonkers episode will forever hold a special place in my heart as probably my favorite episode of Stargate for its humorously bizarre instances involving varied AU SG-1’s, a dark timeline team, and that scene with Cam (Ben Browder) in his underwear.

#4

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Family Ties (Stargate: SG-1)

This one kicks off with a shot at Syfy’s failure to promote the show (Mitchell: “They cancelled it? Really? I didn’t even know the new season had started.) and ends with Teal’c unwittingly attending a reading of The Vagina Monologues (I remain convinced that, at that point, the network had stopped vetting the scripts because I don’t see how else they would have let this one go).  Fred Willard is a comic genius, Claudia Black gets to show off her expansive acting chops, and, oh yeah, more shots at Syfy –

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#3

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Window of Opportunity (Stargate: SG-1)

Yeah, you knew this one was going to be in the Top 3.  The original pitch for this episode was quite dark, but Executive Producer Robert Cooper steered us toward a more comic take.  After listening to his notes, I said: “But that’s Groundhog Day.” To which he replied: “Right.”  And so, we went ahead and wrote the Stargate version of Groundhog Day – which ended up being one of the franchise’s most beloved episodes.

#2

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Isn’t That A Paradox? (Dark Matter)

By this point in the series’ run, I was in a writing groove pretty much wholly due to my wonderful cast.  I knew that whatever I wrote for them, they would deliver – and boy did they ever.  TWO’s heartfelt yearning for the quiet life, THREE’S suburban rogue, a reminder that our FIVE is still very much a kid, SIX’s bike mastery, and Android’s not-quite-know-it-all attitude – all combine for an episode that, more than any other, leaves me with bittersweet memories of a show ended way too soon.

#1

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All The Time In The World (Dark Matter)

Was there ever any doubt?  I wasn’t even working off an outline when I sat down to write this script but from the moment I started, I was on fire, blazing through a first draft  with almost no interruption.  I was in the zone and this one came together beautifully in all of a day (A record!).  Whenever I watch the THREE/Android duet, I get downright wistful at the thought of where these two characters were headed had our audience been rewarded for tuning in.

Addendum – Since so many asked, 200 didn’t make the list because I was one of many writers who contributed to that one.  Having said that, the segments I wrote WERE a lot of fun…

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July 9, 2018: Photobucket Finds – Stargate: Atlantis Edition!

I happened across the photobucket website earlier today and recalled “Hey, I think I actually had a bunch of videos uploaded there at one point.”  After several failed attempts, I finally succeeded in haphazardly inputting the correct password and – voila!  I was greeted with a slew of poor quality videos dating back from days on the Stargate.  Here are a few for posterity’s sake (or, if you prefer, as one of my ex-girlfriend’s used to say “For prosperity’s sake”):

SGA “The Last Man”.  The sand in the sandstorm was actually powdered oatmeal.

Real sand would have hurt more.  And been harder to clean up.

Wraith loose on the lot!

SGA “The Last Man”.  The Keller-McKay walk and talk was shot right outside The Bridge Studios lot.

Good times.  Good times.

July 2, 2018: On Spoilers!

Oh, teasers are teasers and spoilers are spoilers and never the twain shall meet.

The subject of spoilers came up the other day after a New York Times article essentially spoiled the ending to DC Comics’ big Batman/Catwoman wedding storyline.  Not only did they spoil it, they spoiled it in the damn headline!  Fan response was…heated.  Comic shops that had pre-ordered copies were suddenly left holding the bag (and board to ensure its contents remain in mint condition!) as readers responded by cancelling their planned purchases.  Twitter was ablaze with a furious fandom who felt betrayed by either the book’s ending and/or the decision to reveal said ending days before the title dropped.

To be fair, it was a curious PR call.  I mean, I understand the great buzz that would follow a feature profile in the New York Times, but surely that could have been achieved without ruining the ending.  It’s not like you’re going to convince new readers to check out a movie, t.v. show, or book by saving them the trouble of actually watching/reading.  I honestly don’t get it.

On the other hand, there are productions that guard against any and all pre-release reveals with merciless determination.  Many an extra and crew member has been fired, publicly pilloried, and, on occasion, even sued for posting what they deemed a perfectly innocent pic on their instagram page, or made mention of a seemingly innocuous onscreen development on twitter.  In some cases, I get it.  In others, not really.  For me, it comes down to the difference between a spoiler and a teaser.

And what is that difference?  Oh, that’s easy.  A spoiler spoils viewers while a teaser simply teases them.  I know, I know.  Where to draw the line?  It varies from production to production, viewer to viewer, but I’ve personally always been very forgiving when it comes to on-set posts and pictures so long as they don’t reveal any major plot twists or surprises.  For example, a photo of a presumably deceased character on set would, by my definition, be considered a spoiler.  Photos of our series regulars in action would not.  Yes to sneak peeks of most concept art, costumes, visual effects designs and props because I want to get viewers excited in the lead-up to the episodes – and hopefully intrigue some new viewers as well – rather than wait until after the episode airs at which point these visual tidbits are rendered mere points of interest for the hardcore fans.  No to major reveals – like that new Android costume or a shot of SIX back on the ship after his apparent departure in Episode 303.

I think that’s reasonable.

Inciting a full-scale rebellion among your fandom probably isn’t.  But then again, I’m not the one with the marketing degree.

My Top 5 Stargate Spoilers

#5 – The Curse: Dr. Daniel Jackson reconnects with some people from his past, one of who, it turns out, has been taken over by a goa’uld.  Who could it be?  Well, if you watched the broadcast promo, you’d note a fiery-eyed Anna-Louise Plowman using a goa’uld hand device to blast our heroes.  A dead giveaway.

#4 – Apophis episode: Don’t recall which episode, but the network aired a promo that included a scene of Apophis actor, the amazing Peter Williams, snapping orders.  Only problem was they inexplicably used raw footage in which the actor’s voice had yet to be flanged to achieve that ominous goa’uld delivery.  As a result, mystified viewers were treated to a uniquely terrestrial-sounding System Lord with a slight Jamaican lilt.

#3 – Solitudes: A gate mishaps strands Sam and Jack on an icy wasteland.  Stargate Command races to locate them.  Where could they be?  Well, if the SGC had merely consulted TV Guide before the episode aired, they would have learned Antarctica and saved themselves the time and effort.

#2 – Kindred I: Another network promo totally ruins a surprise the production had kept under careful wraps for almost a year.  “You won’t believe the last five minutes!”says the voice-over, at which point we are treated to a shot of a once-dead, now very much alive Carson Beckett asking Sheppard and his team: “What took you so long?!”.

#1 – Forever In A Day: The German title for this episode is “Sha’re Ist Tod”.  Translation: Sha’re Is Dead.  But maybe not!  Ah, who am I trying to kid?

April 6, 2018: Hey, Stargate fans! Want to see something really cool?

Yes?  Okay then…

Al’kesh fighter

Puddle Jumper

Destiny shuttle

Atlantis on the Ocean

Puddle Jumper and Space Gate

Prometheus Nebula

Odyssey Sunset

A huge thanks to the hugely talented (and longtime Stargate fan) Samuel for the visuals.

And Happy Birthday, Luis!

March 12, 2018: Ships of Stargate: SG-1!

Every so often, I get requests for concept work and designs related to the various ships featured on Stargate.  I normally love to oblige but the truth is a lot of these files are scattered over so many folders on so many laptops and portable hard drives, that it’s almost impossible to track them all down.  This past weekend, however, while prepping for the tweet-storms, I came across a veritable treasure trove of Stargate ship-related images.     Combined with a bunch I already posted (mainly on reddit), they make for quite the curated collection.

Today, I present to you some of the Ships of Stargate: SG-1, many of which were designed by artist James Robbins –

March 11, 2018: Our Massive Online Stargate Reunion!

A huge thank you to Stargate fans worldwide who came together over the past 48 hours to blow up twitter – with a little help from some familiar faces…

Yep.  Quite the turnout.  Between the two events, 250k+ tweets and counting the last time I checked.

So, what’s next for #TheDriveToRevive?  Well…

Okay –

March 10, 2018: StargateRising Blows Up Twitter! Fandom Force International Ready To Launch!

Last night, Stargate fans took twitter by storm.  Lead by @StargateNow and The Stargate Initiative, Fandom Force positively lit it up!

Pictured above: Actual footage of tweets being launched!

North American fans showed up en masse, and were joined by international fans in addition to more than a few familiar faces.

I’ll have a full rundown for you tomorrow but, for now, here’s are the key stats –

Over 100k tweets sent.  We trended #1 in Canada, France, the U.K., #2 in the U.S., #6 in Australia, and #7 Worldwide!  That’s HUGE!

In fact, we continued to trend hours past the scheduled one hour event and, in some instances, still trending into the wee morning hours.  Not bad for a SciFi series that has been off the air for five years!  Congratulations!

And we get to do it all over again when our international contingent hits twitter today in a little over 3 hours!  Check the times in your area and join us for this final round!  And make sure to follow @StargateNow and @StargateNow_EU for today’s secret hashtag (to be released 15 minutes before launch).

Ready to do this one last time?

FIGHT!!!

March 9, 2018: Tonight’s the Night Stargate Fans Storm Twitter!

Hey, who wants to bring back Stargate?

Remember…

Don’t forget to tag @MGM_Studios and @stargatecommnd

Show up tonight and make your voices heard, Fandom Force!  Don’t let this –

…happen to this…

See you tonight!

P.S. I’m bringing friends!  No telling who you’ll run into during the tweet-storm!

March 8, 2018: Stargate Now!

Alright, Fandom Force!  Tomorrow night is the night we take twitter by storm!  Join our mass online reunion of Stargate fans!

THE TIME = 6 pm PST/9 pm EST

THE GOAL = To let MGM know we want a fourth in-canon Stargate series created by Brad Wright and Robert Cooper.

THE TARGET = Yep, MGM, the studio that produced the original Stargate movie and Stargates SG-1, Atlantis, and Universe.

Make sure to tag @MGM_Studios and @stargatecommand in your tweets so that they get the message.

THE RULES =

Also, check out this handy video:

It’s crunch time, Fandom Force!  Get the word out!

 

March 7, 2018: The Battle For Stargate Heats Up! Week’s Best Comic Book Covers!

We’re only going to have one shot at this, Stargate fans, so let’s make it count. This Friday night (in North America) and Saturday night (in the rest of the world), we’ll be sending a message to MGM and the more people that participate in the tweet-storm, the louder the call.

Do you want a fourth Stargate series?  One set in the existing t.v. universe, created by the same team that brought you over 340 hours of Jack, Sam, Daniel, Teal’c, John, Rodney, Elizabeth, Teyla, Ronon, Rush, Young, Eli, T.J., Scott and many more?

The stakes have never been higher.  Succeed, and we could soon be watching a new Stargate series, one as accessible to new viewers as it is rewarding for longtime fans.  Fail, and it’s the dreaded reboot.  All those characters you grew to know and love, those stories you enjoyed, could be wiped away like not so much as a ninth dream season of Dallas.

Beware The Living Eraser’s programming decisions!  Remember Professor Ebhardt, the renowned atomic genius from SG-1‘s third season? Of course not because he was wiped from existence!

Note: The only known visual evidence of the professor’s existence.

Do you recall the lovable Bill from Stargate: Atlantis‘s first season, the notoriously shy but kindly cafeteria worker who once saved John Sheppard’s life? No?  Here’s why!

No need to sign petitions or write letters or demonstrate.  All you have to do is show up on twitter this Friday night (6 pm PST/9 pm EST) and tweet your support using the secret hashtag of the night (follow @StargateNow or me, @BaronDestructo for all the details leading up to tweet-storm).  Just an hour of your time could be the difference between an amazing new series that leaves the door open to checking in with old favorites, or this –

Don’t let this happen to your favorite franchise.  Show up and support the tweet-storm!  Let’s Save Stargate!

I would be remiss if I didn’t include my weekly breakdown of my favorite comic book covers of the week:

The Amazing Spiderman #797 (cover art by Alex Ross)

The 2002 Spiderman movie ranks as in my Top 10 Superhero Movies Of All Time. It misses out on a spot in the Top 5 simply because of the Green Goblin costume design that abandoned the grim and creepy look of the classic comic book version pictured here.  Alex Ross captures Spiderman’s arch-nemesis in all his ghoulish green glory.

Batman: White Knight #6 (cover art by Matt Hollingsworth, Sean Murphy)

Behind every villain is a backstory steeped in tragedy and Victor Fries’s backstory, hinted at in this beautiful cover, is also a bittersweet love story.

Captain America #699 (cover art by Chris Samnee)

Oh, Cap, what are you thinking?  Love the throwback look of the characters.

Hawkeye #16 (cover art by Julian Totino Tedesco)

I’ve always been a big fan of catching glimpses of our heroes during their downtime – and ice cream cones on the pier, well, you can’t get much more laid back than that.

She-Hulk #163 (cover art by Rahzzah)

Much respect for artists who eschew traditional cover art for outside-the-box concepts.

Oblivion Song #1 (cover art by Lorenzo De Felici)

I’m a sucker for these post-apocalyptic, sandstorm-swept settings.

Rise of the Black Panther #3 (cover art by Brian Stelfreeze)

The color palette of these covers by Brian Stelfreeze has been an utter delight.

Superman #42 (cover art by Patrick Gleason, John Kalisz)

If there was any cover that would prompt me to pick up a book this week, this is it. Love the Rockwell-esque Bizarro family pose – in spite of all, still possessed of a certain warmth.  And, yes, I picked up the book.

The October Faction: Supernatural Dreams #1 (cover art by Damien Worm)

Nothing quite sets the tone like Damien Worm’s exceptionally dark and, occasionally, darkly humorous character designs.

The Shadow/Batman #6 (cover art by Giovanni Timpano)

This one has a stained-glass feel I’m really feeling.

***

The countdown begins…

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March 6, 2018: 3 Days to Tweet-Storm!

We’re walking through the hotel lobby when Akemi spots a floral arrangement and says: “I want to go over there and touch the soft and fluffy flower.”

“You can just go around touching flowers,”I said.

“Why not?”she said. “Jodelle said to do it.”

“And if Jodelle told you to jump in a lake, would you do it?”

She paused to think about it for a couple of seconds, and then fairly bursting with confidence: “A lake? I think I can do it!”

Now THAT is the unbridled enthusiasm I’m looking for heading into Friday night’s BIG tweet-storm!

Don’t miss this opportunity to make Stargate history.  Fans will never have a better chance to make an impact.  By sparing a mere hour of your time for our twitter campaign (Friday, March 9th – 6 pm PST/9 pm EST) you can save future Stargate!

Head on over to twitter and follow @StargateNow as we prepare to storm the castle!

More goodies from our buddy @confracto – the Time Squid!

Concept design by James Robbins.

The model.

Production Designer James Robbins shows off his big catch.

Check out the teeth on this sucker.

Props Master “Evil” Kenny Gibbs.

Carl! Noooooooooo!

 

March 5, 2018: The Battle of the Black Gate Approaches, Stargate Fans!

LOOK OUT!

Kicking off today’s blog entry with a terrific article about the #DriveToRevive, what we’re trying to accomplish, and what Stargate means to fans:

A Fan Movement Wants To Bring Stargate Back To TV

The same article contains links to some terrific interviews:

One with Master Bra’tac – 10 Questions With Tony Amendola

Another with Dr. Carson Beckett – 10 Questions With Paul McGillion

BTW – On the heels of our International test drive, I wanted to give a shout-out to a our Top 3 Tweeters!

Yeah!  That’s the kind of enthusiasm we need!

Please continue to spread the word.  These upcoming tweet-storms will be our Battle of the Black Gate/Battle of the Morannon!

We need all hands on deck this Friday night!  And again on Saturday night!

After that, we leave it to MGM.  So, if there was ever time for you to step up in support of Stargate, that time is now!

This Friday night in North America, and Saturday night internationally, let’s LIGHT IT UP!

P.S. Thanks to @Thadius-Faran, Tom Gardiner and the gang at @StargateNow for the amazing gifs!

March 4, 2018: Thank you, Stargate International Fans! Stargate A Besoin De Vous! Creating Destiny’s nexus controls!

Another day, another successful tweet-fest run-thru.  Here are the stats from yesterday’s event…

Although we had more contributors, we had fewer tweets and a smaller reach, but that can be attributed to a number of things: the lack of influencers, a few miscues, and, of course, soccer (aka football).  There were more than a few instances where participants used the wrong hashtag, more than one hashtag, or, in some cases, no hashtag at all – but that’s okay because the whole point of the test-drive was to shake off the rust, work out the kinks, and educate everyone on how it works.  And, now that we’re all on the same page, we’re going to BLOW UP twitter next weekend.  Specifically…

Friday, March 9th at 6:00 p.m. PST/9:00 EST and again –

Saturday, March 10th at 7:00 p.m. GMT.

The first is for Stargate fans in North America, the second for Stargate fans in the rest of the world BUT if you can make both, we’d love to see ya.  (Incidentally, I will be participating in  both but don’t let that guilt you into feeling you should as well.  I mean, sure, the Stargate we know and love is at risk of being wiped away with a single reboot, but play it by ear and see how it goes.)

(No pressure.)

(Really.)

What’s the deal with this campaign and what’s at stake?  Well, check out this awesome video by Didi Chandouidoui, “Stargate A Besoin De Vous” (Stargate Needs You), the greatest pitch for why you should step up and help.  If you speak French, I’m sure you’ll agree.  If not – trust me, it’s pretty amazing.

 

Hey, check this out.  The creation and building of the SGU nexus console (via confracto):

The concept design by James Robbins.

The model.

Molded plastic.

Painting and aging.

The finished product.

Alrighty.  Starting tomorrow, I start reaching out to some old friends in the hopes they have time to pop in and say hi during the upcoming tweet-storms.

You never know who’ll be dropping by, so make sure to circle the dates!

March 3, 2018: Congratulations, Stargate fans! One more test-drive to go!

Well, last night’s #TestTheDrive campaign went very well.  Here’s how we did in that hour…

Trendsmap

Almost 35k tweets in an hour.  Fantastic.  I think we can work on those replies, making more of an effort to engage with our fellow tweeters, but overall this is amazing for a dry run.  Almost everyone was fantastic at following the one hashtag rule with only about 1% of participants tweeting out more than one.


We got a big boost from some influencers lead by Stargate’s Michael Shanks, and Dark Matter’s Zoie Palmer and Alex Mallari Jr.  Majorie Liu, Rachel Caine, Peter Williams, Simone Bailly, Jeff Teravainen, Corin Nemec, Mika McKinnon,  Patrick Gilmore, Mike Dopud, and David Nykl were instrumental were a big part of yesterday’s tweet storm that saw us trending in both the U.S. and Canada.  As were you all, especially these three, our top tweeters…

Wow!  In fact, we continued trending in Canada into the week hours of this morning.  Congrats and thanks to all, and in particular the @StargateNow and @StargateNow_EU teams.   If you missed it, here’s an interview with two of our frontline stars, Kelli Zielinski and Tom Gardiner –

Meet Two Fans Behind the StargateNow Movement

Alright!  Now that we’ve sufficiently recharged, let’s get ready to do it all over again with our international fans in less than an hour!

A rules refresher…

Make sure you’re following @StargateNow and @Stargate_EU as they’ll be releasing the secret hashtag 15 minutes before the tweet-storm.

See you there!

March 2, 2018: Tonight’s the Night! Join us for the Stargate Tweet-Storm Rehearsal!

Have plans tonight?  Well, cancel them!  Unless, of course, said plans involve tonight’s scheduled tweet-storm in which case uncancel them because we need you online as we test the engines on the #DriveToRevive!

Are you a fan of Stargate: SG-1, Atlantis and/or Universe?

Its memorable characters?  Carter?  McKay?  That sassy little alien Hermoid?

Its momentous moments?  Daniel Jackson’s ascension?  Atlantis’s rise?  That time Universe’s Dale Volker tried to educate Scott and Greer on the distinction between a rambutan and a longan?

Its amazing ships?  Destiny?  The Daedalus?  Sam and Jack?

Well then join us tonight as we take our first big step in our campaign to let MGM know fans want a fourth in-canon series created by Brad Wright and Robert Cooper, a new series that offers a fresh start for new viewers while paying tribute to what came before, instead of…

THE DREADED REBOOT

Artist rendition of reboot wiping out 17 years of television history

Ready to blow up the internet on this test run?  Great!  Here’s what you need to know…

So simple even a monkey (specifically, one of those infinite monkeys working on duplicating the complete works of William Shakespeare) could do it!

By the way, loving the selections for your Top 5 Stargate Episodes To Be Blasted Into Space With.  I’ll reveal my top five, in no particular order, as part of tonight’s tweet-storm.

Make sure you’re following @StargateNow and see you tonight!