Hey, check it out.  My sister, Andria, recently received a card from Satan.  He professes his love for her and then, rather ominously, vows to never forget her. Well, truth be told, it was a card from one of the kids at her daycare – a kid who, apparently, has trouble spelling his real name.  Not sure what it is but sis assures me it aint Satan.  Even if it was, I wouldn’t have been all that surprised what with the ridiculous names wackos (aka celebrities) are bestowing on their newborns these days.  Of course, hilarious monikers aren’t limited to Hollywood offspring.  My friend Janice once worked with a guy named Seamen Hung. So far, in my books, he holds the title of “Worst Name”.  Do you have a friend, relative, or unfortunate worker who trumps Seamen?  I want to know.

Hmmm.  My Snow Monkeys have been dealt an enormous blow even before the start of the fantasy football season.  Turns out Peyton Manning’s neck injury is a lot more serious than the Colts organization was letting on and now there is talk that he may miss anywhere from two months to the entire season.  Romo is my fallback QB and I also have Buffalo’s Fitzpatrick riding the pine, but should maybe I should be hitting the waiver wire – just in case.  Hasselbeck, Alex Smith, Jay Cutler, or Rex Grossman – who do you like?  Okay, who do you dislike the least?


JeffW writes: “Seem like you have quite a following among my fellow electronic engineers…”

Answer: Electronic engineers, SF fans and, most recently, bank managers.  Go figure.

moi writes: “When’s the dinner with you mum?”

Answer: Next time I’m in Montreal – next weekend perhaps.  We’ll hit Au Pied de Cochon and either Restaurant Graziella, LaLoux, Kitchen Galerie Poisson, or Lemeac.  Any Montrealers care to weigh in?

Ponytail writes: “Another thing I’ll miss…did you ever post any pictures of Chris Vance?  I don’t recall any.  Do you have any?  Was he camera shy, or just really suspicious of you?”

Answer: I limited myself to the crew, those working behind the scenes, and the occasional guest star.  I steered clear of the cast because the broadcasters had their own photographers on set and I figured they would want to turn some exclusives in the run up to the premiere.  I’m sure they’ll be releasing plenty of pics of the charming Mr. Vance soon enough.

David writes: “Can you speak about the lighting conditions for photography?  Obviously there are some restaurants that have great lighting and it’s easy to take photos inside.”

Answer: When I photograph food, I prefer to go sans flash to be as unobtrusive as possible.  As you said, the lighting in certain restaurants better lend themselves to this than others.  Or you could just go for the early bird special and make sure you get plenty of daylight streaming in through that window.

Bloomgate writes: “Also wanted to reiterate my request for any info you could share regarding to Merlin mistaking the SG1 team for his knights of the round table.  Were there any plans or discussion of possibly fleshing that out in any way in a theoretical season 11?  Even a simple “Yes, the idea was floated” would at least tell me there was something to it.

Answer: In truth, no, there were no plans to explore this further.  It was solely intended as a throwaway gag on Merlin’s first awakening.

Nick writes: “What is Brad up to these days?”

Answer: Brad is relaxing, spending time with his family, and doing some writing in preparation for a couple of upcoming projects.

Nick also writes: “Have you heard of/tried Taza Chocolate yet?”

Answer: Nope.  Tell me about them.

Tam Dixon writes: “I enjoyed Jodelle Ferland’s performance in SGA.  The whole show was hilarious!  Whatever happened to the painting?  Do you have it hanging in your office?”

Answer: For a while, the painting hung in the office outside Lawren’s office.  Eventually, it went the way of most everything else owned by the production – the ZPM’s, the staff weapons, even Lawren himself – all sold off at auction.

Patricia Stewart-Bertrand writes: ” The cancellation was really not surprising. After all, isn’t the fifth season the magic number where the network can syndicate the show and make money, but also want to cut their losses as the show gets more and more expensive from there? And yes, I realize we are talking season ten, but technically, the first four or five seasons belonged to Showtime and not MGM, so the same formula applies.
Or, an I wrong?”

Answer: Your logic is sound but only insofar as it applies to the studio since it owns the show and benefits from the syndication package.  Of course, SG-1’s ten year run trumps that argument as well.

Tam Dixon writes: “So if Akemi had to go back to Japan, wouldn’t she be able to reapply or is there a time period limit?”

Answer: Unclear.  She is applying for a six month extension to her visa.  If she goes back, she could certainly try to apply for another visitor’s visa but I’m told it might be difficult for her to be granted acceptance since she’s already been in Canada over a year.

DP writes: “Joe, would you need a work permit if you did all your work in the cloud* from Japan? What kind of bento breakfasts would you make for Akemi?”

Answer: I actually have given some serious thought to buying a place in Tokyo and splitting my time between Japan and Vancouver (and, possible, L.A.).  The only thing holding me back is the dogs.

Rob Cooper writes: ” While I am surprised and excited you took Tony and Dez and wish you the best of luck with the Snow Monkeys, I am worried that you will somehow blame me when the weak, loaded with rookie O-line breaks down.”

Answer: Well who the hell else am I going to blame?

Stargate Sanctum writes: ” Do you believe there is any way the fans could convince MGM to release the deleted TJ flashback scenes, and if so, how do you think we would we best go about it?”

Answer: Don’t know.  I’m sure if the studio knows there are customers out there clamoring for those flashbacks, they could included as part of the extras in a future dvd release.

Gina writes: ” Was wondering, if on one of your dining outings to Scarpetta you had had the opportunity to sample the much talked about Spinach and Ricotta Gnudi?”

Answer: I have.  A great dish, but nothing comes close to the simple spaghetti and basil.

Debra writes: ” Has your writing partner already left or just not like your dinners out?”

Answer: Paul lives in suburbia, so far away from downtown that he’d have to leave the morning before to get there for that night’s dinner.  Also, we spend so much time together at work that we’d risk getting sick of each other if we started socializing.  And who’d want that?

PBMom writes: “I’m glad that you are going to be going home now (and so will Maximus), but how will this affect Maximus’ treatments?”

Answer: Maximus had his last radiation treatment today.  In two weeks, he has his final anti-cancer vaccine.  After that, it’s a matter of sitting back and hoping for the best.

Deni writes: “My daughter tripped and fell on the street in London and really got hurt, blood gushing everywhere, but NOBODY stopped to help her!”

Answer: How is your daughter doing?

Penny writes: “You may have answered this but did you keep any mementos? From any show you’ve worked on?”

Answer: I’ve got a genetic sample disc from Scorched Earth, some rubber/make-up pustules from Lockdown, plastic bags from The Scourge, and a torture pain stick from various episodes (that, in retrospect, I regret not bringing with me to Toronto).

48 thoughts on “September 8, 2011: Satan sends his love! My Snow Monkeys suffer their first loss – and the season hasn’t even started yet! Mailbag!

  1. Hi Joe, Lauren (my daughter) is going along with the “guys dig scars” bs I threw her way, because she got a BIG one on her knee/leg. Then again, she’s no delicate flower, always has bruises from judo and “jew jitsu” (yeah, I know…), always breaking or spraining something. What I couldn’t get over was the fact that nobody helped her! A couple of days after that happened, she was crossing the street when an old man fainted and fell on her! She called for help and stayed with him until he was transported to the hospital. Those Londoners need to learn from you guys! Thanks for asking! How’s Max feeling tonight?

  2. Joe,

    Check them out:

    To be added for your next Chocolate Party, which I hope you will organize again in Vancouver next year. A tradition too wonderful to suspend in my opinion.

    Also, Joe, I asked these SG-1 questions that I asked on 8/9/11:

    I have a question about the DHDs from SG-1. Carter and O’Neill found a DHD in Solitudes. Also, there was a DHD in Touchstone in a truck in the plane hangar. If this is the case, why is it that it was made clear that the Russians were in sole possession of the only DHD in 48 Hours? What happened to the two DHDs from Solitudes and Touchstone?

    Also, I am very curious about the Enkarans. Where did SG-1 discover them? Why were they rescued from where they were found? And why was it not possible to temporarily house them at the SGC? If they were UV sensitive, how could they have been at risk 28 levels beneath the surface of the earth and sun? As far as I understand, UV could not penetrate that deeply.

    I hope everything works out with Akemi. She is great and her bento boxes are amazing!

  3. Joe,

    My Yorkshire terrier (makes me think of Woolsey) today had a scuffle with a local larger dog and split open his rear paw. We had to have the nail removed as it was split. He is at home now and recovering. I hope Maximus will be OK. How are your other dogs treating him in his current state?

  4. Hope Max’s last treatment went well. It’s going to be a couple of days ’till I’ll find out because I heard this afternoon that my company has declared another emergency in PA and I’ll be working 12 hour days for the next three days (or maybe just 8 on Sun). This’ll probably make up for our 2 week strike.

  5. joe, when you finally get back home (vancouver!! :D), you *must* have a party at one of your fave restaurants, with lots of pics to share with us!! :p

  6. A friend had a student named Shithead….it was pronounced Shaheed…it was a family from another country…we’ve also have A LOT of madeup names! Or misspelled names, cuz the parents had no idea….I’ve had two students who were named by their brothers….one becoming a Rocky, because his brother was a fan of the movie….ah teaching you get a wealth of unusual names…

  7. I went to High School with a poor fellow named Richard Shaker (use the common nickname). Unfortunately, the hazing was merciless.

    Some friends of ours (the Turners) named their daughter Paige.

    I studiously avoided naming my children anything embarrassing…life will offer its own opportunities for embarrassment enough as it is.

  8. I would go with Hasselbeck, definitely. My three qbs are the Matts: Schaub, Ryan, and Hasselbeck. I picked up Chris Johnson, Rashard Mendenhall as my first 2 rbs, Roddy White as my top wr, Dallas Clark as te, and Gostkowski as my starting kicker. I’m quite satisfied that I have a very competitive team.

  9. Will you have a belated chocolate party when getting back to Vancouver or just wait until the usual time next year?

    Hope Maximus’ treatment went well.

  10. Nick writes: “What is Brad up to these days?”

    Answer: Brad is relaxing, spending time with his family, and doing some writing in preparation for a couple of upcoming projects.

    does brad hold out any hope at all of getting to finish the television stargate franchise? his combo movie sounded like a *great* idea!…


  11. *Decades* ago, I worked for a certain “Dept.” of a *certain* Employer through which MANY different Names came my way.. THE most memorable was – “FANNY BUTT”!! And, it was her Married name!! – I swear, it was on an Official Document!

  12. Local guy (since deceased) was named Hazel Dickey. Local lady named Olive Pitts.

    English rugby player named Danny Grewcock (there was also an Andrew Hore who just happened to play the Hooker position).

    And lets not get me started on how awkward it is to go into a bookshop and ask for Moorcock. 😛


  13. Ok, I kid you not. When I was living in Miami, I was at the gynecologist’s and was talking to a woman sitting next to me in the waiting room. Her name was Happy Hyman. 🙂

  14. At a local company my company does business with, there is a gentleman by the name of “Harry Boner”. It is pronounced just like it reads. Two of my fellow employees actually worked with him previously. I’m told that the receptionists absolutely dreaded having to page him over the intercom for phone calls. Often choosing to pronounce it “Bonner” to avoid having to say Harry Boner.

  15. Jay Cutler is probably your best bet out of the 4. Romo is probably going to end up being your starter, he is my current back up QB. But Manning is an annoying “surprise”….I dont think anyone expected this.

  16. My sis & I received the “distinctive” names. Our brother is Bob.

    “Gilder” is a family surname that my parents chose for my given name. In recent years, it’s been mispronounced as “glider” with increasing frequency, especially at medical offices. I blame certain printer fonts.

    It could be worse; my folks could have gone back a couple of generations for “Azariah”, or used “Noelle” for my late-December birthdate.

    Ran into a few more interesting names over the years. My late uncle, J.R. Rich, made his career in banking. Dr. Toof was an orthodontist. My good friend H. Hacker is an eye surgeon.

  17. I have a niece named Sunshine Castle, a cousin named Sandy Stone, and cousins kids named Wynter Rose, October Skye and Heavenly Sunshine in my family. I came darn close to being named Sandy Castle myself. Lots of Californians!
    I served with a guy in the Navy named Super Pace. We did have a Seaman Seeman, but he had a regular first name. And a Davy Jones, unfortunate name for a sailor. Especially since his drinking buddy was Donald Duch (Duck). So much fun when stopped by Shore Patrol.

  18. I once received a call at work… the message left was to call back Dick Hare. It took me forever to get the guts to call him back, thinking I may have misunderstood. Richard Hare it was… he goes by Dick.

    I also had a kid at daycare named Peter Pan… another named Ernst Young.

  19. I use to say when I was real busy, “I have work coming out of my ying-yang” until Ying Yang came to work for us. We have lots of Butts and Dicks at work too. And not just in name only…

    I hope Akemi can stay. She seems to have a postive effect on everyone around her. She has everyone making homemade cards filled with love, cute little Bento box surprises, she’s full of quotable sayings, and isn’t afraid to tackle making a difficult dish for dinner. She is a one-of-a-kind.

    I like Hasselbeck. I loved him on Baywatch.

  20. Worked with a cool guy whose first name is Senator. Prior worked with a guy named King. Their last names did not add to the eye opening as their first names. It was funny at times to introduce either one and see the reaction.

    Re: last names… for example – We are going to the Mallozzi house. Well, when you have a person whose last name is Ho – well, you get the picture. I had friends whose last name began with M. So they made sure their child did not have the initials – BM. But, I did work with someone with those initials…yes, he took some jabs at that.

    Hoping you things went well for Maximus.
    Sorry your snow monkeys had a bad week already. We will work on improving their perseverance and indomitable spirits, cause they seem to need some help.

  21. Names:

    Two guys who work in the oil industry here in Alberta are Rick O’Shea and Rick Shaw. They are buddies who spend lots of time together. A young man I used to work with was named Harry Butt. He preferred to be called Harrison. 🙂


  22. Not caught up on comments yet, but had to chime in.

    Love to collect unusual names! Here are a few real names or surnames I’ve seen and heard.

    Bunny Hug
    Abbey Chapel
    Goldie Locketz
    Patti Forrest Groves Woods
    Royal Short Swing


    and a last one for Das: Gassaway 😀

  23. Grew up with a kid whose last name was Krapp. Talk about hazing.
    An ex-coach at USC and current ass’t coach at Seattle is Pat Ruel,,,. Only his real first name is Golden. And then there was Justin Thyme….

  24. I really hope Akemi gets the visa extension! I don’t know what you’d do without her brilliantly made breakfasts and what us readers would do without her cheerful expressions when you share pictures and the adorable stories you share.

    Also, that card is amazing. I mean, maybe he just has high ambitions.lol

    I honestly can’t imagine a name worse than Seamen Hung. Do you think the pain of labor brought about the crazy notion that name was a good idea?

  25. Hi. Been reading your blog for a few months now. First posting for me. I had to join in on this one. Was a dog groomer for 25 years here in L.A.

    Once had a customer with the last name of Godbehere and another with a last name of Livinggood.

    But those were beat by a dog with the name of G O D…pronounced as Gee-O-Dee.

    Thanks for letting me post. I Love Stargate.

  26. I have to agree, go with Hasselback. He’s got a lot of new targets this year and he seems a lot more content. A happy QB is a good QB.

    Local water council person: Richard Long. I don’t think he’s too upset with that name, though…

    I got to see the Harmony painting in person, it’s magnificent and made me smile everytime I glanced at it. The funny part is I was looking at it whilst seated at the SGC’s briefing room table!


  27. I talked to a customer and her last name was splet Dewshi (yeah say that one out loud!). I could not address her by Mrs. Dewshi, I used her first name the whole time.

    So last year I took a shot in the dark and said that Green Bay was going to win the Superbowl, and they did!! This year my feeling is with the Colts for some reason.. Maybe I can make it 2 for 2??

  28. Um…a former co-worker of mine had a classmate named Phuc Mi, pronounced like you’d think it would be. No, this person did not have a nickname, and apparently, didn’t quite understand why my former co-worker had such a hard time introducing him to the rest of the class (it was one of those community-building things).

  29. @ Zed of Earth – I get just as much mail now as I did 10 years ago – but it’s mostly junk. Hardly any cards or letters anymore – everyone just e-mails – and that’s what’s killing the PO. The good thing for me is that if the PO shuts down, I won’t have to pay my bills anymore because that’s the only way I receive and send them! It’ll be like I don’t exist anymore! Woo! 😀

    @ PBMom – I just checked out the pictures of your boo-boo (Sept. 5th blog entry). Whoa. 😯 😯 😯 It looks like a Wraith handgina…on your arm. An armgina. Mind if I call you Toddette? 😉


  30. Hello Joe,

    Sorry to hear about Manning. Best wishes to you, Akemi, and the pups.

    (Sorry, I am on a quick break at the office, so I have to be brief.)



  31. I remember another – Dick Wood, chairman of the Board of Directors for Wawa markets, a Delaware Valley convenience store chain. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wawa_Inc. His signature ‘Dick Wood’ used to adorn the side of their coffee cups, making that morning cup o’ Joe eye-opening in more ways than one. 🙂


  32. Also, another local fella is named Oliver Twist.

    And a quick internet search has turned up a whole boatload of Barbie Doll/Dahls, several Harry Butts, Dicks, and Peters, and at least 23 Forrest Woods, 5 Seymour Butts, and 1 Seymour Pecker in the US.


  33. Joe – Funniest name of someone I ever actually met was a location description : Sandy Glenn. Then again, Mike Hunt’s name was always good for a laugh when he would hide from female teachers and they would ask if anyone had seen him. 😉

    As for your QB, I’d pick up Cutler. It’s always a decent move to pick up a QB in the second year of the Mad Scientist’s offense. Kitna did well in that situation a few years ago.

    Thanks for the info about the Knights of the Round Table. As Marty said in 200, I was hoping for some face-switching or body-swapping. 😉

  34. That note is the cutest! The funniest letter I’ve seen was from a teacher regarding a friend’s child. It said, “Dear Mr. and Mrs. XXX, Your son has been disturbing the classroom by farting.” Apparently the kid was farting tunes and of course, the class would erupt in laughter. I hope they saved that letter because the kid is all grown and in the military now.

    For names: La Shunta (that just sounds bad). I worked briefly with a veterinarian named Dr. Furr. Yes, she did get a lot of comments.

    Thank you, for answering my questions. Immigration is so complex. My husband’s co-worker filed for permanent citizenship (he was from India). He had to find a company to sponsor him (there is a fee, of course). The process took five years and if he left that job, he had to start over. During that five years, he was required to leave the country (usually he flew to Canada and came right back) every year (or two). Ridiculous! It was a wise decision to retain a lawyer to help with all this red tape. I’m sure it will work out but you may go though A LOT of chocolate/wine to releave stress before it does.

    About the painting, it’s sad that all those props are gone! I hope they appreciated wherever they are. Mike A.: I would have loved to have seen it in person! If I was Flanigan, I would have bought it myself.

    Deni: So sorry about your daughter’s accident. She must be a scapper 😉 .

    Yeah for Max! I’m keeping my fingers crossed. How is he feeling? Please give him a belly rub for me!

  35. In grade school I had a close friend who’s parents ran the Mom and Pop store just a few blocks from my home. In fact their last name was Popp. Unfortunately they bestowed the name Soda upon my dear friend and Lolly upon his sister. There were some miserable moments but he had a great attitude about the whole thing. Years later when I was in the military I picked up a copy of Ripley’s Believe It or Not and he’d made the book with the entry ‘Sode Popp lives in Jefferson City, Mo.’. Small world. Best wishes to dear old Max.

  36. I recently worked with a young man whose last name was Bang. Yes, he was of Asian descent. Also grew up with a girl with a last name of Clapps, (German origin). She was so sweet.

    Back to work…


  37. When I was a kid we had a neighbor named Mrs. Lipshitz and my mother, who just couldn’t bring herself to say that, would always mumble the later part. What fond memories I have of an old lady standing in the middle of the street yelling, “It’s LipSHITZ!. It’s LipSHITZ!!”

    I worked in the office of a hospital years ago and saw a couple names that have stuck. Maloade Outhouse. (Use a bit of imagination with that first name.) Then there was General (his legal first name Byrd who was married to Bird Byrd and lived on Bird Paradise Lane.

    I had a doctor named Repaire who named a son Otto.

    When I was pregnant with one of my kids I read in a baby name book about what NOT to name your kid. It seems there was a Governor Hogg of Texas who named his two daughters Ima and Ura. (Can you just imagine roll call in their classes?)

    With my kids I wanted to name one of the boys Alexander Scott, but with a last name that starts with an S we wisely chose another middle name.

  38. My first real job out of college there was a director of construction and his name was Richard Miester and of couse he went by the name of Dick. This of course was a lose lose situation. What do I call him, Dick, Dick Miester or Mr. Miester. Fortunately I never had to address him at work because I was sure I could not do it with a strait face.

  39. I once worked with a man whose last name was Hogg. When I said it, I always gave it a nice romantic foreign flare, like Hooge or Hough. But actually it was plain ole swine-like “hog”. I just couldn’t bring myself to say it because he was so nice. He didn’t seem to care one way or the other. Oh and @ Sis, over the years I’ve worked with a Michael Jackson, James Bond, John Johns, Barbara Walters, Cinderella (she went by Cindy), to name only a few I can remember.

  40. Oh! I forgot about Jesus Santa. He got fired one year right at Christmas!
    (how rude!)

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.