So, I finally found out what’s wrong with my dishwasher. Turns out it’s Al Gore. According to the repairman, there’s nothing wrong with the machine per se. Apparently, it takes two and half hour to clean dishes and occasionally leaves soap in the dispenser because it’s “better for the environment”. Sure, I’ve only had the damn thing for six months and its performance pales in comparison to that ten year old model that would get my dishes spotless in one fifth the time, but that’s neither here nor there because the important thing is I’m helping to save the planet one oatmeal-crusted spoon at a time.
The repairman advised me NOT to rinse my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher because those food particles are what soak up the soap. I countered that while they may soak up the soap, more often than not, those food particles don’t wash off completely, leaving me with glassware and cutlery as dirty post-wash as pre-load. Thank God my new environmentally-friendly dishwasher does an equally shit-poor job of drying its contents or I’d be stuck with all sorts of dried-on and crusted disasters. “Yeah, you want to rinse off your dishes, but not too much,”said the repairman. “It’s hard finding the right balance.”
He was sympathetic, confiding that dishwashers aren’t the only “convenience” to suffer at the hands of the eco-autocrats. Refrigerators are louder, ovens don’t heat as effectively, and toilets – oh, don’t get me started on those fucking low-flow toilets. We may have laughed at the SNL parody, but I’m sure Edible Pampers are not that far from reality.
Look, it’s not like I hate the planet. I just hate people who want to save it. Or, more accurately, idiots who insist on shoving their fallacious agendas down everyone’s throats by imposing carbon taxes, charging for supermarket bags, and, yes, making it so it takes almost three fucking hours to do a load of dishes. I’m perfectly willing to listen to reason, but I refuse to be lectured to by an individual who has done more to adversely impact the environment than I have by, say –
driving a Prius (http://hubpages.com/hub/Prius),
using fluorescent light bulbs (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7431198),
reading physical books (http://dissociatedpress.com/2009/09/is-reading-a-book-bad-for-the-environment/),
divorcing or being divorced (http://www.thestar.com/News/article/282251),
wearing manufactured clothing (http://www.natural-environment.com/blog/2008/01/23/why-clothes-are-bad-for-the-environment/),
consuming organic produce (http://www.science20.com/news/why_organic_food_is_bad_for_the_environment),
burying a loved one (http://thesoko.com/thesoko/article1301-0.html),
Like most self-important know-it-alls, these people are much, much better at telling others what to do than actually doing anything themselves. Instead of boosting their feelings of self-worth by haranguing SUV drivers or eating with the lights off for one hour a year, why don’t they actually do something that makes a difference? According to a report by Greenpeace in “2008, the top three Chinese power companies together emitted more than the total greenhouse gas emissions of the United Kingdom in the same year” at a global cost of $13 billion in environmental damage. If they really cared about the planet, these so-called green crusaders would be in China, lobbying the government there to shape up, thereby doing their part to really help the environment.
Or, alternately, ending up in some forced labor camp.
Either way, I’d say it will have been well worth it.
Annie From Freemantle writes: “The dinner looked like dog turds. I kid you not.
Answer: Wow. They got the color right and everything. That’s really hard to do.
Narelle from Aus writes: “How’s your Mum’s going?”
Answer: Mom is doing well and back at work three days a week.
Thornyrose writes: “Now, how is that act two progressing?”
Answer: Quite slowly. I’m 22 pages into the script and two scenes away from the end of the second act.
Ponytail writes: “Hey Joe, would you ask Carl what he would recommend from Chili’s”
Answer: I will the next time I see him. Or, you could just ask him yourself – twitter.com/cpbinder
Bilo&Bella writes: “I recently heard about the wine-fed cattle in BC which are suppose to make excellent beef products (kinda like the Kobe beef idea). Have you tried it yet?”
Answer: I’m not sure what restaurants serve the meat outside of Kelowna (where, no doubt, Jonas has enjoyed a good rib steak or two).
Ian Z. writes: “1. What would you change about the first season of SGU? Could be a line, or it could be a theme.
2. Would the producers/writers/whoever-else-makes-these-decisions ever consider going back and updating the SG1/SGA graphics to make them all match? For example the hyperspace windows are all different between the three series for the Daedalus ships. (examples can be found here: http://forums.stargateworlds.com/showthread.php?t=35776)”
Answers: 1. I would no more change anything about SGU’s first season than I would a season of Chuck or House or Reno 911! Brad and Robert created the series and it would be pretty presumptuous of me to second-guess them after the fact.
2. Nope. There was a conscious decision made to differentiate visuals like the hyperspace windows.
Ian Z. also writes: “So, someone on a forum I visit noticed that the suits from the “Lost Tribe” Asgard, and then Destiny’s Ancient suits are identical except for the helmet. (side by side picshttp://forums.stargateworlds.com/showthread.php?t=35159 )
1. Is this just because the suits were expensive and it allowed for a good time to reuse them? Or are we to assume this is because of the alliance? OR will the Asgard come into play at some point in SGU?
2. Will the Furlings or Nox be explored at all in SGU? (I know you don’t like the mythology story lines, so I don’t expect you to write it if you do think it will come in to play even though i’m sure you’d do great!)”
Answers: 1. Yes, no, and maybe.
2. No plans to explore either on SGU. Sorry.
Danielle Dyer writes: “After chatting with you in the office , I had to check out your blog.”
Answer: Hey, Danielle, thanks for stopping by. See you next week – and, quite possibly, on set one of these days.
E writes: “Is it true that there will finally be a TJ backstory episode in the back half of season 2?”
Answer: Working on it right now.
Jenks writes: “I hope the ‘edge of the universe’ line was just character ignorance, otherwise you need to fire your scientific advisor’s!”
Answer: Nope, we’re actually going to do a story where Destiny topples off the edge of the universe. Either that or reaches the end of the universe and has to turn around and go back the way they came.
Chris M. writes: “Hey Joe i was wondering if you have any behind the scenes pics of Rhona Mitra?”
Answer: Nope. Sorry.
MMert writes: “1. I’m in the U.S. Navy so I’m very curious why there never seems to be any Navy personnel in any Stargate series. Considering Navy personnel are generally much more accustomed to the long deployments and living conditions in a confined ship than Air Force personnel I would think we might see at least a few. Is there any chance I’ll eventually get to see a fellow sailor?
2. Will we find out anything more about the incredibly advanced aliens that created the planet/solar system in SGU season 1′s “Faith”?
3. Will we find out anything more about the aliens/civilization that left the ruins in SGU season 1′s “Lost”?
4. Will we find out anything more about what happened to Franklin when he disappeared after using the Ancient chair in SGU season 1′s “Justice”?
5. Should we expect any alternate timeline/alternate reality SGU episodes in the future?”
Answers: 1. Since the Stargate Program has established as being an Air Force operation, there was seldom opportunity to work in any Naval personnel.
2-5: Not for now, a little, yes, and definitely – and not necessarily in that order.
DP writes: “Were fifth acts so infernal when you were writing more stand-alone episodes?”
Answer: Are you kidding? Fifth Acts are the easiest acts, relatively speaking.
dioxholster writes: “oh and fans have been speculating about an MGM trailer, is that true?”
Answer: Sorry, haven’t heard anything about an MGM trailer.
dasNdanger writes: “Hope you’re feeling better today, Joe. If you play your cards right, you could get another day of pampering and meals in bed…maybe even a foot massage…if you’re that sort of man. Are you that sort of man, Joe??”
Answer: I don’t know. Are you offering?
Major D. Davis writes: “1. Any updates on the movies? Any more discussions take place on the SG-1 movie? Any new talk on the SGA movie?
2. I heard that the trailer released at comic con is a syfy trailer. Any chance we’ll see an MGM trailer for season 2.0?
3. Whats your favorite episode from season 2.0?
4. Have you guys filmed Visitation yet?”
Answers: 1. Not since the last time someone asked last week.
2. Sorry. Haven’t heard anything about an MGM trailer.
3. So far, Malice.
4. Nope. It’s first up after the hiatus.
dasNdanger writes: “Joe – my niece, ladyhgiggles – says you need one of these:
Answer: Akemi says I don’t.
dasNdanger also writes: “1. Joe, have you ever had a man-crush on a celebrity? If so, who?
2. Are you ticklish? if so, where?
3. Have you been ‘French kissed’ by any of you dogs? If so, who is the worst culprit?
4. If forced, who would you rather dine with – a tramp, or a teamster?”
Answers: 1. When I was a kid, I was a huge Roddy McDowall fan. Does that count?
2. Nope. Not ticklish at all. Don’t even bother trying.
3. Not french kissed but I’ve had my face sneezed on on more than one occasion. Jelly’s the best and looking seemingly disinterested, then suddenly whipping around and letting fly.
4. Oh, a teamster, definitely, because they’d be more likely to treat.
Chevron7 writes: ”
1. If you had the power to crossover two current tv shows (don’t worry about networks etc) what would they be?
2. What’s on the SGU 1.5 bluray that’s gonna knock my socks off? What should I watch first?
3. Have you seen Teddy Almond Turtle the pug that sings along with the Batman theme song? Cute vid
4. What do you have against fruit?”
Answers: 1. South Park and Coronation Street circa 1972.
2. I don’t know. What?
3. I have. I’d have actually been impressed if he sang the theme song to the old Adam West series.
4. I was harassed by a pineapple in elementary school. That may have something to do with it.
DasNdanger also writes: “Hey, Joe – sorry for being such a pain in the arse, but would it be possible for you – or Akemi – to tell me if this is Chinese, or Japanese: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/bottle.jpg”
Answer: Akemi says old Chinese kanji.
Jim writes: “1. Looking back, do you think that a rewording of the SGA movie greenlight announcement in 2008 would have negated some of the negativism towards SGU? Instead of saying the SGA movie was “greenlit”, the release said “we plan to make the movie soon in the near future” for example. ( And yes I know you don’t control the press announcements just looking for YOUR opinion)
2. What is most difficult about writing for an ensemble cast, compared to a smaller core team in previous Stargate incarnations? Would you compare the cast to ST:TNG where all seven members from Picard to Wesley were featured, or ST:TOS where Kirk, Spock, and Bones took center stage?
3. What is your favorite episode from SGU first season, and your least favorite? (Yes you have to pick one, and even if you didn’t write it don’t chicken out and not mention it)”
Answers: 1. That’s just Monday morning quarterbacking. At the time of the announcement, all involved had every intention of making the movie. What should have been done differently was announcing the pick-up of SGU in the same press release as the SGA cancellation. It inferred a link between the two that didn’t exist.
2. It’s definitely more of a ST:TNG situation. The biggest challenge is obvious: servicing all of your main players.
3. My favorite is Time. Loved the episode, loved the ending.