So, I finally found out what’s wrong with my dishwasher.  Turns out it’s Al Gore.  According to the repairman, there’s nothing wrong with the machine per se.  Apparently, it takes two and half hour to clean dishes and occasionally leaves soap in the dispenser because it’s “better for the environment”.  Sure, I’ve only had the damn thing for six months and its performance pales in comparison to that ten year old model that would get my dishes spotless in one fifth the time, but that’s neither here nor there because the important thing is I’m helping to save the planet one oatmeal-crusted spoon at a time.

The repairman advised me NOT to rinse my dishes before putting them in the dishwasher because those food particles are what soak up the soap.  I countered that while they may soak up the soap, more often than not, those food particles don’t wash off completely, leaving me with glassware and cutlery as dirty post-wash as pre-load.  Thank God my new environmentally-friendly dishwasher does an equally shit-poor job of drying its contents or I’d be stuck with all sorts of dried-on and crusted disasters.  “Yeah, you want to rinse off your dishes, but not too much,”said the repairman.  “It’s hard finding the right balance.”

He was sympathetic, confiding that dishwashers aren’t the only “convenience” to suffer at the hands of the eco-autocrats.  Refrigerators are louder, ovens don’t heat as effectively, and toilets – oh, don’t get me started on those fucking low-flow toilets.  We may have laughed at the SNL parody, but I’m sure Edible Pampers are not that far from reality.

Look, it’s not like I hate the planet.  I just hate people who want to save it.  Or, more accurately, idiots who insist on shoving their fallacious agendas down everyone’s throats by imposing carbon taxes, charging for supermarket bags, and, yes, making it so it takes almost three fucking hours to do a load of dishes.  I’m perfectly willing to listen to reason, but I refuse to be lectured to by an individual who has done more to adversely impact the environment than I have by, say –

eating meat (http://environmentalism.suite101.com/article.cfm/is-eating-meat-bad-for-the-environment),

eating fish (http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2009/03/15/bc-fish-guidelines.html),

driving a Prius (http://hubpages.com/hub/Prius),

using fluorescent light bulbs (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7431198),

reading physical books (http://dissociatedpress.com/2009/09/is-reading-a-book-bad-for-the-environment/),

recycling (http://www.ecoworld.com/animals/recycling-myths-smothered-in-garabage-vs-more-landfill-capacity-than-ever.html),

divorcing or being divorced (http://www.thestar.com/News/article/282251),

googling (http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/article5489134.ece),

wearing manufactured clothing (http://www.natural-environment.com/blog/2008/01/23/why-clothes-are-bad-for-the-environment/),

consuming organic produce (http://www.science20.com/news/why_organic_food_is_bad_for_the_environment),

burying a loved one (http://thesoko.com/thesoko/article1301-0.html),

having a child (http://oregonstate.edu/ua/ncs/archives/2009/jul/family-planning-major-environmental-emphasis),

or being green (http://www.neatorama.com/2010/07/21/why-going-green-is-actually-bad-for-the-environment/).

Like most self-important know-it-alls, these people are much, much better at telling others what to do than actually doing anything themselves.  Instead of boosting their feelings of self-worth by haranguing SUV drivers or eating with the lights off for one hour a year, why don’t they actually do something that makes a difference?  According to a report by Greenpeace in “2008, the top three Chinese power companies together emitted more than the total greenhouse gas emissions of the United Kingdom in the same year” at a global cost of $13 billion in environmental damage.  If they really cared about the planet, these so-called green crusaders would be in China, lobbying the government there to shape up, thereby doing their part to really help the environment.

Or, alternately, ending up in some forced labor camp.

Either way, I’d say it will have been well worth it.

Mailbag:

Annie From Freemantle writes: “The dinner looked like dog turds. I kid you not.

http://tinypic.com/r/2564mle/3

Answer: Wow.  They got the color right and everything.  That’s really hard to do.

Narelle from Aus writes: “How’s your Mum’s going?”

Answer: Mom is doing well and back at work three days a week.

Thornyrose writes: “Now, how is that act two progressing?”

Answer: Quite slowly.  I’m 22 pages into the script and two scenes away from the end of the second act.

Ponytail writes: “Hey Joe, would you ask Carl what he would recommend from Chili’s”

Answer: I will the next time I see him.  Or, you could just ask him yourself – twitter.com/cpbinder

Bilo&Bella writes: “I recently heard about the wine-fed cattle in BC which are suppose to make excellent beef products (kinda like the Kobe beef idea). Have you tried it yet?”

Answer: I’m not sure what restaurants serve the meat outside of Kelowna (where, no doubt, Jonas has enjoyed a good rib steak or two).

Ian Z. writes: “1. What would you change about the first season of SGU? Could be a line, or it could be a theme.

2. Would the producers/writers/whoever-else-makes-these-decisions ever consider going back and updating the SG1/SGA graphics to make them all match? For example the hyperspace windows are all different between the three series for the Daedalus ships. (examples can be found here: http://forums.stargateworlds.com/showthread.php?t=35776)

Answers: 1. I would no more change anything about SGU’s first season than I would a season of Chuck or House or Reno 911!  Brad and Robert created the series and it would be pretty presumptuous of me to second-guess them after the fact.

2. Nope.  There was a conscious decision made to differentiate visuals like the hyperspace windows.

Ian Z. also writes: “So, someone on a forum I visit noticed that the suits from the “Lost Tribe” Asgard, and then Destiny’s Ancient suits are identical except for the helmet. (side by side picshttp://forums.stargateworlds.com/showthread.php?t=35159 )

1. Is this just because the suits were expensive and it allowed for a good time to reuse them? Or are we to assume this is because of the alliance? OR will the Asgard come into play at some point in SGU?

2. Will the Furlings or Nox be explored at all in SGU? (I know you don’t like the mythology story lines, so I don’t expect you to write it if you do think it will come in to play ;) even though i’m sure you’d do great!)”

Answers: 1. Yes, no, and maybe.

2. No plans to explore either on SGU.  Sorry.

Danielle Dyer writes: “After chatting with you in the office , I had to check out your blog.”

Answer: Hey, Danielle, thanks for stopping by.  See you next week – and, quite possibly, on set one of these days.

E writes: “Is it true that there will finally be a TJ backstory episode in the back half of season 2?”

Answer: Working on it right now.

Jenks writes: “I hope the ‘edge of the universe’ line was just character ignorance, otherwise you need to fire your scientific advisor’s!”

Answer: Nope, we’re actually going to do a story where Destiny topples off the edge of the universe.  Either that or reaches the end of the universe and has to turn around and go back the way they came.

Chris M. writes: “Hey Joe i was wondering if you have any behind the scenes pics of Rhona Mitra?”

Answer: Nope.  Sorry.

MMert writes: “1. I’m in the U.S. Navy so I’m very curious why there never seems to be any Navy personnel in any Stargate series. Considering Navy personnel are generally much more accustomed to the long deployments and living conditions in a confined ship than Air Force personnel I would think we might see at least a few. Is there any chance I’ll eventually get to see a fellow sailor?

2. Will we find out anything more about the incredibly advanced aliens that created the planet/solar system in SGU season 1′s “Faith”?

3. Will we find out anything more about the aliens/civilization that left the ruins in SGU season 1′s “Lost”?

4. Will we find out anything more about what happened to Franklin when he disappeared after using the Ancient chair in SGU season 1′s “Justice”?

5. Should we expect any alternate timeline/alternate reality SGU episodes in the future?”

Answers: 1. Since the Stargate Program has established as being an Air Force operation, there was seldom opportunity to work in any Naval personnel.

2-5: Not for now, a little, yes, and definitely – and not necessarily in that order.

DP writes: “Were fifth acts so infernal when you were writing more stand-alone episodes?”

Answer: Are you kidding?  Fifth Acts are the easiest acts, relatively speaking.

dioxholster writes: “oh and fans have been speculating about an MGM trailer, is that true?”

Answer: Sorry, haven’t heard anything about an MGM trailer.

dasNdanger writes: “Hope you’re feeling better today, Joe. If you play your cards right, you could get another day of pampering and meals in bed…maybe even a foot massage…if you’re that sort of man. Are you that sort of man, Joe??”

Answer: I don’t know.  Are you offering?

Major D. Davis writes: “1. Any updates on the movies? Any more discussions take place on the SG-1 movie? Any new talk on the SGA movie?

2. I heard that the trailer released at comic con is a syfy trailer. Any chance we’ll see an MGM trailer for season 2.0?

3. Whats your favorite episode from season 2.0?

4. Have you guys filmed Visitation yet?”

Answers: 1. Not since the last time someone asked last week.

2. Sorry.  Haven’t heard anything about an MGM trailer.

3. So far, Malice.

4. Nope.  It’s first up after the hiatus.

dasNdanger writes: “Joe – my niece, ladyhgiggles – says you need one of these:

http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts-apparel/unisex/japanese/74a3/

Answer: Akemi says I don’t.

dasNdanger also writes: “1. Joe, have you ever had a man-crush on a celebrity? If so, who?

2. Are you ticklish? if so, where?

3. Have you been ‘French kissed’ by any of you dogs? If so, who is the worst culprit?

4. If forced, who would you rather dine with – a tramp, or a teamster?”

Answers: 1. When I was a kid, I was a huge Roddy McDowall fan.  Does that count?

2. Nope.  Not ticklish at all.  Don’t even bother trying.

3. Not french kissed but I’ve had my face sneezed on on more than one occasion.  Jelly’s the best and looking seemingly disinterested, then suddenly whipping around and letting fly.

4. Oh, a teamster, definitely, because they’d be more likely to treat.

Chevron7 writes: ”

1. If you had the power to crossover two current tv shows (don’t worry about networks etc) what would they be?

2. What’s on the SGU 1.5 bluray that’s gonna knock my socks off? What should I watch first?

3. Have you seen Teddy Almond Turtle the pug that sings along with the Batman theme song? Cute vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrIp3k5pJQM&feature=player_embedded

4. What do you have against fruit?”

Answers: 1. South Park and Coronation Street circa 1972.

2. I don’t know.  What?

3. I have.  I’d have actually been impressed if he sang the theme song to the old Adam West series.

4. I was harassed by a pineapple in elementary school.  That may have something to do with it.

DasNdanger also writes: “Hey, Joe – sorry for being such a pain in the arse, but would it be possible for you – or Akemi – to tell me if this is Chinese, or Japanese: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/bottle.jpg

Answer: Akemi says old Chinese kanji.

Jim writes: “1. Looking back, do you think that a rewording of the SGA movie greenlight announcement in 2008 would have negated some of the negativism towards SGU? Instead of saying the SGA movie was “greenlit”, the release said “we plan to make the movie soon in the near future” for example. ( And yes I know you don’t control the press announcements just looking for YOUR opinion)

2. What is most difficult about writing for an ensemble cast, compared to a smaller core team in previous Stargate incarnations? Would you compare the cast to ST:TNG where all seven members from Picard to Wesley were featured, or ST:TOS where Kirk, Spock, and Bones took center stage?

3. What is your favorite episode from SGU first season, and your least favorite? (Yes you have to pick one, and even if you didn’t write it don’t chicken out and not mention it)”

Answers: 1. That’s just Monday morning quarterbacking.  At the time of the announcement, all involved had every intention of making the movie.  What should have been done differently was announcing the pick-up of SGU in the same press release as the SGA cancellation.  It inferred a link between the two that didn’t exist.

2. It’s definitely more of a ST:TNG situation.  The biggest challenge is obvious: servicing all of your main players.

3. My favorite is Time.  Loved the episode, loved the ending.

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Lisa R.
Lisa R.

Joe, I completely agree with everything you said in your green rant. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Have a good night!

Major D. Davis

Ok let me unscramble this

2. Will we find out anything more about the incredibly advanced aliens that created the planet/solar system in SGU season 1′s “Faith”?

a little

3. Will we find out anything more about the aliens/civilization that left the ruins in SGU season 1′s “Lost”?

Not for Now

4. Will we find out anything more about what happened to Franklin when he disappeared after using the Ancient chair in SGU season 1′s “Justice”?

Yes

5. Should we expect any alternate timeline/alternate reality SGU episodes in the future?”

Definitely

Or maybe number 4 was definitely and number 5 was yes. Either way its pretty close.

SO how’d I do?

Deni
Deni

Hey Joe? In “Revisions”, the doohickey they wore on their temples to access the thingie, remember? Ok, why were they taking it off like it was nothing in the beginning but then whatshisname freaked out when Carter told him to take it off and he would be ok?

@Das: You and that can of worms… wink

riley

Jeez, lazybones. You could wash your dishes by hand, you know.

And why do you assume people with a social conscience don’t practice what they preach?

Rex Carter
Rex Carter

Hey Joe do you like any british sci-fi like Doctor Who or Torchwood or Ufo?

Gen
Gen

Yeah, we got a new dishwasher a couple months ago, when our “old” one died at the ripe old age of…5 years. The first time we ran the new dishwasher I was convinced there was something wrong with it. Two hours and it still wasn’t finished? Was it going to be going all damned night?

At somewhere around the two and a half hour mark, it finally finished. Sure, it gets the dishes clean, but I’m really confused about how having an appliance run for 2.5 hours instead of 45 minutes is saving energy.

DP
DP

Infernal – I was referring to the June 9 post title. It makes more sense when I go back and read the context, but something about that title stuck in my head and took on a life of its own.

For your dishwasher, if you have a basket that sits close to the soap dispenser, make sure nothing is getting in the way of it opening.

Our house has 1960’s toilets.

For kids and environmental impact, our little family can’t afford to consume much in resources and there’s no guarantee the planet will survive long enough for them to contribute to exponential population growth so, no worries.

Tammy Dixon
Tammy Dixon

How could anyone hate Al? Ok, maybe that masseuse that is accusing him of groping her. Or the people who did wonderful/heroic/altruistic things but missed out on the Nobel Peace prize to someone that narrated a “film”. If you are going to hate Al, there are many more reasons than a dishwasher inconvenience. roll

Hubby agrees with all your sites. He has run those links past me before. He loves to rant, as well.

My physicist friend had informed me about Prius but I still want one. It gets nearly 50 miles per gallon!!!!!!

Thanks for the Q & A!

FoX1028

Hey Joe!

Look at this blooper i saw in SGU Episode 1×14 Human

T'loc
T'loc

That looks like a branch from a tree not a car

Ponytail
Ponytail

I hear you about toilets! They recently had this free toilet exchange program. Bring in your old toilet and get a new low flush for free. A free toilet? That right there tells you how crappy (pardon the pun) they are. They’re gonna have to break into my house and drag my old normal flush toilet out from under my big butt before I’ll ever give it up!

Thornyrose
Thornyrose

You are a man after my own heart. Or at least I like the way you think, since it is similiar to mine. Loved the green rant. Like you, I have nothing against the environment, and I really don’t mind doing little things to help out. But having measures that range from a) innocous but useless, b) doesn’t do any measurable amount of good but sounds like it does, c) is pure propoganda and is designed to guilt people into following certain behaviors d) a money making scheme by one group of people forcing us to buy certain products or services, to e) actually does as much or more harm as the older methods, but some ignoramous not held accountable by anyone thinks it does good so we pay for it. All of these and more start making me think the so called nut case survivalist types in the far west may have a point about their anti-government tendencies. Anyways, all that is to say great job in skewering all of these folks. And you actually cursed! Sometimes a crude response conveys more than paragraphs full of ranting.
Mailbag appreciated. Best of luck on slogging through the rest of the story, and looking forward to more Jelly pictures and videos.

Jovanna
Jovanna

Since most people rinse their dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, I’ve always been of the opinion – why bother putting them in the dishwasher at all if what you are doing is half washing it to start with? So much faster to hand wash.

Best greeny I’ve ever known – somebody who painted themselves green.

Jim
Jim

I vote no more answering Stargate related movie questions, and in turn you promise to let us know when you here any information.

Alexander of Houston
Alexander of Houston

Joe, I am starting a project in my Menu Managment class, part of it is developing a menu, finding a market to open up shop in, and costing the recipes in the menu. I am thinking of a venue in Japan or S. Korea and Tex-Mex cuisine, or some similar “American” Cuisine being the featured food. I need your help, in your opinion as a foodie as well as Akemi’s opinion as a Japanese, would there be a market for that in Japan? I understand it would be risky and probably more of an attraction for tourists, but I was hoping to get the real deal opinion from you and Akemi since she is still on her visit with you. Can you help me out with this in your brilliant big brain?

Alexander of Houston
Alexander of Houston

On another note it might not hurt to open up shop on or near an American base just so they can get that little bit of home.

ganymede

**OMG**!!! [oh and I’m devout atheist BTW] I just about destroyed my local eco-system and pissed myself reading your global-warmed-over dishwasher “experience”!! My elderly Mother echoes the EXACT same sentiment over our new portable washer!! EVERYTIME we use it! At this point, we were blaming it on the soap that came with it [the machine is a few months old], as we too, pre-soak and rinse the already dried up encrusted food off…

Personally, I think all of these *NEW* appliances, are part of an International Marketing Conspiracy. That, in fact, just about *EVERYTHING* that comes with a “warranty”, has been specifically designed and engineered to self-destruct at least one week AFTER said expiry date!! And, in turn, forcing one to purchase another, and another, and so on…

And YES! F*cking Low-Flow Toilets actually DO waste twice the water!!! I try to avoid staying at hotels that have them. Just see how *many* times you have to flush your “business” with one of those crappy things when you’re on the 20th floor!! If they want to “save” water, install airplane-suck-out-your-innards ones instead.

And don’t get ME started on this whole CO2 business! One equatorial volcano kicks out more CO2 and other party-favours in ONE HOUR than ALL of the PLANET’s *TOTAL* emissions in 2 MONTHS!!

Oh, and let’s not forget that whole Cows FARTING theory!! It’s funny that we didn’t have this CO2 [or whatever comes out of bovines] problem 300 years ago when MOST of North America was covered black with millions of Buffalo!!! The sound of farting back then should have been deafening enough to cause massive landslides!

And melting Ice Caps…? Are caused by warming from BELOW. Either by warming oceans or earth. BOTH of which that are warmed by a warming CRUST. Which is warmed by MAGMA and TECTONIC activity!! Ozone holes and air quality have NOTHING to do with it!! But Sunspots and other astronomical gravitational anomalies DO!

Welcome Folks, to our particular infinitely fractional nano-second existence in THIS Universe! Oh, and watch out for that ginormous honking ROCK that’s about to make all of this AND Us, pretty much a *moot* point!!

dasNdanger
dasNdanger

1. Just got back from our annual trip to the Wildwood Boardwalk – ate Curley’s Fries, funnel cake, and Kohr Bros custard. Let’s see if I end up feeling like you did, Joe. razz

2. We stood on the boardwalk and watched the moon rise – it was huge and blood red. Just lovely, especially with the lights from all the amusements around.

3. @ Joe – Thanks for answering so many of my questions. And no…I’m not offering, but Mr. Das does give a wicked mean foot rub, if you’re ever interested. wink Oh, and Roddy counts…but it also makes your answer really, really creepy. smile And thank Akemi for me about the writing on the bottle…I was leaning towards Chinese, but just needed confirmation (pg15 was pretty sure it was Chinese, too).

4. @ Deni – Can o’ Worms is my middle name! grin

That’s it for now…I’m totally pooped and will have to read the blog and comments in more detail tomorrow. Right now I gots to go seepy byes. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

das

dasNdanger
dasNdanger

Oh, and one last thing….

Joe, you’d hate me. I am one of those who would love to save the planet…probably why I fell so hard for Prince Nuada in Hellboy II. But I won’t get started on that right now – I’m sure you’ve had enough of me and my ‘save the Wraith’ rants, so I’ll save my ‘save the Earth’ rant for another time…perhaps after you’ve had a good food massage. smile

das

crayonbaby
crayonbaby

Joe, I think you need a hug.

Yes, those new dishwashers do usually take up to two hours to do a load. It doesn’t really bother me that much. We don’t rinse the dishes (I have teenagers doing the dishes). It seems to work just fine. My water bill actually went down when I got a new one. And it is quieter. The other one we had you could hear all the way at the other end of the house. My refrigerator is quieter than my old one too. My new washer uses a lot less water than my old one, plus it does a better job. You gotta research these things before buying. There are pieces of crap appliances out there, let me tell you. The one thing I hate about my dishwasher though is it doesn’t dry them completely. I just want them to work correctly. Using less water is a bonus, I guess.

FYI, if you’re looking for a new toilet, go with Toto.

Why are people who drive Priuses usually not very nice? Not anyone on here. They drive in the carpool lane, going at or under the speed limit. Didn’t they know that being in the carpool means you have to go really fast? I almost had a lady in a Prius run over me in a parking lot today. They’re so quiet, they freak me out. Yeah, one of my best friends has one.

crayonbaby
crayonbaby

FYI–every freaking appliance in my house died in the last two years. That’s why I’ve had to replace almost all of them! Geez.

Randomness
Randomness

@where Destiny topples off the edge of the universe

Lol. That should totally be a spoof ending Joe, or something equally funny, if placed at a well placed point in the series. You know like a dream or something.

ganymede

BTW, did you hear about that “ECO-TAX” that the Ontario Govt tried to sneak in this month? *THAT* lasted for about as long as it took for CANADIAN TIRE [for the non-Canucks here, CT has its own CURRENCY!] to notice the rise in complaints and drop in customers!

And then, there’s the *lovely* GREEN BIN project that the City of Ottawa is forcing the taxpayers to fund, even though, most people are using the things for OTHER uses!

However, for those that are… Okay, 3 words – Heatwave [+30C for 4 weeks], Decomposition, MAGGOTS!!! — Apparently, the folks at City Hall have NEVER watched a CSI episode!! Especially, that little entomological tidbit about FLIES laying EGGS within *30 SECONDS* of necrosis!!

Ah, some KLINGON snacks, Anyone…?

Alexander of Houston
Alexander of Houston

oh and joe your whole green rant I can sympathize as far as the ecological impact, but I think the organic bit is more or less geared more towards the consumer side of food, not the ecological impact (although to some small degree).

comment image

This should make you smile

Gilder
Gilder

OT: I trust this community, so copying my plea here (thanks, Joe).

Recommendations, please? Replacing 4-yr-old HP printer /scanner /copier. Heavy home office use: document /web printing, photocopying, scanning. Very little photo printing. Windows Vista compatible and Wired / wireless printing desired. $75–$125 price range. Stay with HP or change brands? (5 minutes ago)

Adding my GREEN rant: Would love to see unused asphalt parking spaces reclaimed as permeable cover, maybe even replanted or wildscaped.