The other day, Paul was complaining about the new production office refrigerator. His problem? Not that it was too small or too deep or that the vegetable crisper was located all the way at the bottom, forcing him to bend down every time he wanted a carrot. Rather, my writing partner had taken issue with the appliance’s disposition. To quote Paul: “That is one motherf***ing sinister-looking fridge.” I thought he was crazy – until I happened by the kitchen today –
He was right. That IS one motherf***ing sinister-looking fridge. To quote Paul once again very clearly: “It’s up to no good.”
Hey, look at what Ashleigh brought to work today out of the goodness of her heart after losing a bet to me.
Chocolate chip cookies! They were perfect – crispy yet chewy, sweet yet a touch salty, chock full of chocolate-buttery goodness. And the occasional walnut. I would have eaten the whole box had Ashleigh not made me save a couple for Carl (For the record, I won the bet – not Carl).
As I was walking by her office after lunch, I happened to notice a package addressed to me sitting on her chair (Who knows how many gifts destined for me have ended up taking a detour into her side desk drawer? I’m still awaiting delivery of that experimental treatment for the rare blood disorder I contracted fighting a drunken monkey during my last missionary venture to South America. Gee, wonder where it could be?). The return address was a publisher, so safe to assume it was a book. “Cool cover and bad cover?”I asked her, tearing open the package.
“Bad cover,”she replied, being her usual negative self.
“Good cover,”I countered, being my usual positive self. “What are we betting for?”
“If you lose,”she said, reaching over to a tissue-wrapped object sitting beside her phone, “you have to eat this.” She pulled away the kleenex to reveal a chocolate chip cookie. A chocolate chip cookie that looked remarkably like the ones I just ate.
“What’s wrong with it?”I asked.
“Nothing,”she assured me – though the fact that she was smiling mischievously when she said it led me to assume she was full of crap.
“Okay,”I said. “But if you lose, YOU have to eat the cookie.”
“No way am I eating that cookie.”
“What’s wrong with the cookie?”I demanded the know.
While she wouldn’t tell me what was wrong with the cookie, she did admit that she’d intended to present this special cookie to me nestled among the others, but ultimately “chickened out”. A multitude of potential secret ingredients flashed through my mind: garlic, cayenne pepper, ground glass. After much discussion, we finally agreed that the loser would have to take one bite of the suspect cookie.
I pulled the book out. It was a great cover! She, unsurprisingly, pronounced it terrible. We went to Remi and Linda for the tie-breaker and both were non-committal, reluctant to declare it either good or bad.
We considered it a tie and each had a bite. Actually, hers was a less than a bite. And she immediately spat it up.
The secret ingredient? About ten tablespoons of salt and pepper.
P.S. As if that wasn’t enough, Ashleigh also hit me today. She’ll tell you it was an accident, but it sure as hell didn’t feel accidental.
One of my very favorite episodes of SGU’s first season airs tonight: Divided. Watch it and report back!
And a book of the month club reminder! Finish up your reading because, next week, we start the discussion on The Love We Share Without Knowing, by Christopher Barzak!
Today’s blog entry is dedicated to the gang at Chimaeracon!