Back in the day, I was known to wager on a game or two.  It was a hobby of sorts.  I’d keep statistics on all the major pro sports – NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB – charting individual and team developments over the course of a given season, comparing such variables as home and away records, streaks, performances on grass vs. turf, against certain teams, against lefties or righties, etc.  I had notebooks crammed full of data that allowed me to formulate systems that, given the history, would produce winners.  Theoretically anyway.  In truth, despite significant effort, I didn’t really win anymore than I lost (except for baseball which is a statistician’s dream and does yield fruitful results if you’re willing to put in the time to crunch the numbers but, really, at the end of the day there‘s so little joy in following the MLB).  The NFL was where it was at but, sadly, the league plays so few games in a given season that it’s near impossible to identify any sort of pattern in a team’s performance against the Vegas spread.  And drawing from performances in previous seasons doesn’t make much sense because, say, the Chicago Bears of 2009 are a wildly different team than the Chicago Bears of 2008 – to say nothing of previous incarnations.  No, team histories don’t offer much in the way of useful information.  However, betting history does.  If you’re looking for a winning system, look not to how individual teams fare against the spread but how teams in general have fared.  Having said that, finding reliable patterns in general team histories vs. the spread is an incredibly daunting past.  In my experience, only one system really worked – not every time, but certainly more times than it lost.  So if you’re in Vegas this upcoming weekend, take advantage of this tried and usually true formula by putting some money down on the Buffalo Bills.

Here’s the formula: ALWAYS BET AGAINST A TEAM THAT HAS WON ITS LAST TWO GAMES, SCORING MORE THAN 75 POINTS IN THE PROCESS, IF IT IS A ROAD FAVORITE IN ITS NEXT GAME.  Remember, when Vegas sets the line, they do so based NOT on what believe is a fair point differential but what the betting public believes to be a fair (often inflated) point differential.  And the betting public likes a team on a roll.  Especially one that has scored 75+ points in its last two games.  A team like, say, the New Orleans Saints who put up 45 points in week #1, 48 points in week #3, and are 5 ½ point favorites in Buffalo this weekend.

Take the Bills at home, and the points.  Then go celebrate by checking out the sharks at the Mandalay Bay.

Hey, one of the great things about the NFL is its ability to incite passion like no other pro sports.  There are the teams you Love (with a capital L) and teams you Hate (with a capital H).  Now you can tell a lot about a person based on team preferences.  Now, rather than risk of offending anyone by offering up my incisive psychological evaluations detailing “What team you support says about you”, I’ll simply list my Top 5 Most Hated NFL Teams and my Top 5 Favorite NFL Teams.

THE TOP 5 TEAMS I ROOT AGAINST

5. The Kansas Chiefs: Mainly because they play in the AFC West, but also because, despite its vast history, the team has always lacked character.  Sure there’ve been flashes here and there but for the most part they’re a thoroughly unmemorable franchise.  If you’re sitting in the office Monday morning talking about that weekend’s games and find yourself unable to recall who it was a given team played, chances are it was probably the Chiefs.

4. The Indianapolis Colts: This is a team that has gradually made its way up my Hated List purely on the basis of Peyton Manning’s spasmodic audibling that makes it appear as though he is speaking in tongues, having been “gifted by an exceptionally animated spirit” every time he steps up to the line of scrimmage.

3. The Denver Broncos: Also because they play in the AFC West, and because their owner wears a fur coat (understand, it’s not so much the fact that it’s fur but the fact that he’s a grown man in fur), and because they’re my team’s arch-nemesis.  Also, because Alex Levine loves ‘em.

2. The Philadelphia Eagles: Two months ago, in the grand sliding scale of team preferences, the Eagles would have been vacillating somewhere in the middle of the pack.  Today, thanks to their acquisition of Michael Vick, they climb their way into the #2 spot.  Congratulations.

1. The New England Patriots: You know that incredibly successful team that almost everybody seems to love?  With that incredibly successful quarterback that everybody seems to love?  That team that is the ice cream equivalent of vanilla, extremely popular and wholly inoffensive.  Like the San Francisco 49ers of the 90’s.  And today’s New England Patriots.

THE TOP 5 TEAMS I ROOT FOR

5. The Green Bay Packers: One of the most storied franchises in the league’s history, no team better captures the spirit of the NFL.  While most teams are marked by their ownership or flashy players, the Packers are distinguished for their loyal fans and the bitterly frigid of Lambeau Field.

4. The Cincinnati Bengals: I’ve always been a fan of their vertical game, their colorful  personalities, and those kooky helmets.

3. The Dallas Cowboys: One of the few teams that it’s almost impossible to be on the fence about.  You either love ’em, or you hate ’em.  And given that, like most kids with an interest in the sport, I grew up rooting for the Cowboys against their hated rival Steelers, it shouldn’t be surprising that some of that youthful passion and loyalty still remains.

2. The New Orleans Saints: The perennial sad sacks of the NFL, there was always something to be admired, or at the very least pitied, about this team.  With their Bourbon Street culture, black and gold uniforms, and umbrella-toting/dancing owner, the Saints have always been the slow-witted cousin you desperately want to see succeed.

1. The Oakland Raiders: Yeah, not much to cheer about in ages, but I remember the days when the silver and black were to be feared, when Hayes and Haynes ran the corners and Commitment to Excellence actually meant something.  They were the bad guys and I loved ’em for it.  Unfortunately, nowadays, they’re just plain ol’ bad.

78 thoughts on “September 21, 2009: The All NFL Issue! The Tip of the Week! My Top 5 Most Hated/Loved Teams!

  1. You and I have exactly the same taste in football. I agree with everything you said with a post script on the Cowboys.
    I like the cowboys (team) just HATE the owner. I was in Dallas when he fired Tom Landry and Tex Shram, can’t seem to get over that. Also, I have had the bad luck to see him out and about in the Dallas nightlife, not a pretty site.
    Raiders are my all time fav, simply because of Howie Long and their uniforms.
    Nice to know you and I the same pyschological traits, I think!

  2. I hate…no, I LOATHE…football. I hate everything about it, especially the robocop uniforms with the painted on tights, the arrogant prancing about between 5 second plays, the broken action that makes the game 3 hours long, the whole wussyassiness of the entire sport! AAAARRRGGGHH!! HATE. IT.

    Just had to get that off my chest, ya know…so we’re all clear on where I stand here. 🙂

    das

  3. The Oakland Raiders before they became the Los Angeles Raiders (and then the Oakland Raiders again). Jim Plunkett, Bob Chandler, stickum. I loved Tom Flores, both as a quarterback (tho not wildly successful, a great guy) and a coach. Gene Upshaw before politics. Mike Haynes, Howie Long, Ray Guy. Who wouldn’t love Ray Guy??

    The Oakland, LA, now Oakland Raiders have a great history…but not so great a present. (Tho they looked pretty darn good last weekend.) I’m glad I’m not the only one rooting for them.

  4. I’m feeling very anti-any-kind-of-football after my last Friday night. Nothing to do with the result (although it would have been great to see the Bulldogs make it to the Grand Final) but more the behaviour of the spectators.
    Fine line between passion and anger.

  5. Hey Joe,

    I usually don’t understand half of what you’re talking about with the sports stuff… I’ve never really followed professional sports like that.

    Bella ended up having to stay 2 nights at the vet’s (we had thought/hoped it would only be saturday night), and they had to do an endoscope to clear out the obstruction in her gut.
    My mom picked her up this afternoon, but she’s not really herself yet. She seems pretty miserable and – this is *really* how we know she’s not well yet – she’s not eating much, and doesn’t seem to have much of an appetite.

    We are, however, extremely glad to have our little one back home where she belongs.

    Oh, and speaking of: love the picture of Lulu on today’s twitter-pic!

    Nadine

  6. American football is for wusses
    Try Aussie Rules. No that is truly a man’s game. No protection…AT ALL…Watch the big men fly.
    I am getting all hot just thinking about it.
    My team sucked this year, well not as bad in the past 5 years. At least they made the finals this year but lost in the first week. Oh well there is always next year.

  7. Joe, the Indianapolis Colts on your “hater” list? Seriously? When Peyton calls audibles, it gives them more time to move the ball. And it’s always a fun game to watch when Mr. Freeney has a good day at the office. Can you say, “Going down!” as in Sack-ville?

    Lucas Oil Stadium
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezevec/2771832110/in/set-72157606784046466/

    Now, if you “root” for, i.e. “dig” the Green Bay Packers, that might put you back in good graces. I’m a Cheesehead born and bred; that’s my original hometown team. Lambeau Field is frigid for a reason. Braving arctic air blasting in off Lake Michigan might be like icy knives passing through you. And yes, the team belongs to the city of Green Bay, to the fans who pass down their season tickets in their wills. Yep, my fiesty Dad grew up just a few miles away from the Frozen Tundra, his own home a mere half mile from “the Lake.” He’s an ex-jock because he lettered in football, (all four years I think), and in track/shot put.

    Lambeau Field
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/jezevec/3736957254/

    Beautiful stadiums…. Photos by my brother Eric, who loves football and would have carried on the family tradition, but for a bad knee.

    Our family roots for both teams, except for Dad, who just “carries on” when good football playing turns bad. He gets loud. We change the channel. That’s how it goes. 😀

  8. You’re making me miss watching Sunday football. I used to know all the stats and the teams. I know nothing now. Now I’m going to have to watch the Colts just to see if Manning does what you claim he does. I never thought that the Patriots were the 90s 49ers. You’re right. Scary, but right. Of course, Montana didn’t go around romancing with lots of models, now did he.

    You always have to love the Bengals. I don’t know why though. They do seem like a fun bunch. I can’t believe you ever liked the Raiders. Maybe when Madden was coaching. Boy that was long ago.

  9. Could have agreed with you on this list only you put the cowboys in the wrong pile. Grew up liking them only because all my other cousins did, then did about a year with the packers, but ultimately chose the Raiders as my favorites. I now hate, HATE, the cowboys (or as they are know in my family for the most part, the cowgirls), and while a lot of my family has switched over to the steelers, I could really care less, just because of the big deal they make over it. But other than that, a good list. Oh yeah, and I don’t like the chargers because they blew it by letting go of Drew Brees, who is now rocking it over with the Saints, another team I’ve grown to like.

  10. By the way, sometimes dangerous to pulicly cheer against the cowboys where I live seeing as to how I live in Texas, but you have to know where to look to find a friendly venue where the cowboy fans won’t try to ruin your fun by purposefully standing between you and the screen, yelling with delight in your face when they score, or bumping into you with all their might on their way to the restroom.

  11. You manage to perfectly split my teams. I love the GBP for all the reasons you list. Not to mention, hi, we won the first two Superbowls. And we’re the only team owned by the fans (sadly, I do not get to partake since I wasn’t born there. Dang it all…).

    But I also love the NE Patriots. They may be vanilla, but they’re always excited, always good sports, and quite frankly, I am a big fan of Belichick. That guy’s smart. And Brady’s not bad to look at. (And the guy’s perfect at everything. Nearly picked up for MLB and his spot on SNL a few years ago is the last time I laughed at that show.) I think it’s hard to cheer against that package.

    Then you include the Colts in the hate pile. I agree. They bug me. Mainly because I’m a Patriots fan, but I think Peyton is oversold.

    I also have an extreme distaste for the Raiders. Worst fans ever, you know? I thought they should have kept Moss and I could happily have forgotten about them and his mooning antics forever.

    Interestingly enough (when you consider I’m from MN, but not so much when you consider I’m a GBP fan), I also LOATHE the Minnesota Vikings. Seriously. The biggest chokers next to maybe the Red Sox and Cubs–and they at least had curses to blame. Not to mention, they have had terrible coaches, and Randy Moss.

    I hate Randy Moss. Let’s just leave it at that.

  12. I HATE HATE DALLAS, cause they have such an EGO, and always have had. My team -suck as they did tonight- DOLPHINS, since I moved to FL. in the early 70’s. They could have won in the last play tonight, but , they CHOKED again , ah sooo sad, but I still love ’em!! Sheryl

  13. Dude Joe, you’ve got ALL the actors raving about the finale! They all think it’s mind-blowingly shocking and awesome! What the heck did you DO?!? I hope it isn’t shocking like the end of The Wizard of Oz. Or shocking like the end of The Departed. (Isn’t that the one where they all die at the end for no reason?)

  14. I don’t see enough differences among teams to love some and hate others, but this blog entry gives some perspective on what other people go on about so passionately. I could LISTEN to what they are going on about, but it’s so much easier to read it put succinctly by a professional writer.

    Who Dey was great fun back in the day – and Oscar Mayer Bologna gave out bologna-sized stickers of those cool helmets.

  15. Joe, first, my apologies if I grossly misinterpreted some of your remarks in yesterday’s post. You’re adept at communicating between the lines, and I’m sure that sometimes I think I’m reading something you didn’t intend at all. But I’m still wondering about the combination of tramps, teamsters, and the barrio, and a little “etc.”

    Interesting takes on NFL teams and why you support/don’t support them. Since the first team I rooted for was the Redskins, and the second was the Giants, I would never have seen the Steelers as the Cowboys’ nemesis. And in the DC area, Cowboy hatred was almost part of the air you breathed. And really, the whole “America’s Team” thing doesn’t sit very well with anyone who *isn’t* a Cowboys fan. Also, Jerry Jones can be such a dirtbag, like malibunextyear said re. Tom Landry getting shoved aside. It was all so cheap. – If Jones would quit micromanaging, maybe the Boys’ coaches wouldn’t look so mediocre. He makes Al Davis look laid-back.

    About the 49’ers, I’ll buy the vanilla ice cream comparison for the Steve Young years. When Joe Montana was field general, vanilla turned into Vanilla Bean Ambrosia. Montana and Steve Walsh = most brilliant QB/HC team ever, in my book. Bring in the freakin’ amazing Jerry Rice, and *all* their talented players — like a B-grade promo, games were often a star-studded extravaganza. It was inevitable that eventually, they’d get taken for granted.

    Oakland, at their best, and as I saw them on NFL Films: If you could get into their vibe — The Longest Yard II: The Taking of the NFL — you couldn’t help but cheer that tough and talented crew. You even got a taste of the Keystone Kops when the officials had flags here, whistles there, assault and mayhem everywhere.

    @Das, these guys were once the Wraith of the NFL. Truly. Even if that sounds like I’m dissing the Wraith, it’s meant as a compliment. 😉

    Cincinnati, wth the very, very bright Bernie Kosar who apparently could read a defensive formation like reading the back of a Cap’n Crunch box — and who needed every bit of that acumen since his receivers practically had to have shortstop skills to field his passes — yeah, I loved that. When he left, the team got that “meh” feel, for me.

    Broncs: My fave day in NFL history is when the ‘Skins took care of business at the Super Bowl, and steamrollered the cocky Elway & Co., 42-10. From my POV, anyone is always welcome to do the same.

    Saints: Pretty unis – New Ahlins, baby, gotta have some flair – and now they’re off to a very impressive start on offense with Drew Brees, at least so far. And it’s hard to dislike a team that’s not your home team when they’ve had, what, three (?) playoff appearances in their entire history. Or did I miss one?

    NE Patriots: What can I say? They were on the tube every Sunday when I was a tadpole, and again in college +2 yrs. That’s the longest time I’ve ever followed the same team. Basically, they’re my home team, their cheatin’, no-good varmint coach notwithstanding.

  16. I agree with DasNdanger. I hate football too. But, if it keeps the males of the species from beating each other over the head with a two by four, then I guess it serves a purpose.

    Patricia

  17. Arghh. Now I’m going to have to follow the games to see if your system really works. But how can I possibly listen to someone who likes the Cowboys?arghh. I suppose the fact you were misled in your youth is enough reason to cut you some slack there, but still….

  18. Hi Mr M!

    Sorry to say, I am at a total loss when it coms to American Football. Never quite understood the whole 10 seconds of play followed by minutes of line outs etc.
    @DasnDanger: Kinda agree with you on this one.

    RE: Baseball : Great game. Am still coming to terms with all the nuances involved…particularly the whole spitting ritual..

    RE: Ice Hockey : Now THERE’S a game! As a two-time NHL Champion (…….on eh PlayStation)…I LOVE this game. I have never seen the players in RL or indeed watched much of it on TV, but thru PS I can tell you that “The Great One” is my fav player of all time.

    Best to all!!

    S’n’T

  19. I’m not a huge football fan (I’m more soccer), but the Hubby is a fanatic. And we’re a Carolina Panther family. My husband hates it when I watch a game with him and I can pick out something that the team itself or the coaching staff are doing wrong and I end up being right ;). But you are right about the Love and Hate of teams. Everyone has their certain team(s) that they go for no matter what and the one(s) that they can’t stand, period. Obviously Carolina is my love. I’ve met several of the players over the years and I adore each of them, even when they aren’t at thier best. Before this past summer the Falcons used to be the team to hate with an extreme H. But like you, we couldn’t tolerate Vick going to any team, but why one that has it’s own judge and jail? Good choice? Don’t think so.

  20. I dont know any of the teams over there but I like their names 🙂
    Our football is very different from yours and our guys wear just shorts and a shirt XD
    My team is the South Sydney Rabbitohs heehee

  21. Oh I’m so sad you hate the Patriots 🙁 We’re fans here 🙂

    I see you root for Green Bay – how do you feel about the Vikings? I live in Minneapolis and I was pretty disappointed with them but this year I feel hopeful. Strange to see Favre in purple no?

    Teams we root for: Patriots (I love watching them work together – it seems like music sometimes), Colts (we find Peyton Manning funny as hell), Vikings (mostly because we live in MN)

    Teams I like (this is where my husband and I start to differ a little): Green Bay (I like cheese), Giants (Eli Manning is sort of like an everyman’s little brother – plus his first name is Elisha which is also my son’s name)

    Teams I hate – The Bengals (the helmets, sorry), the Cowboys (Jessica Simpson did to Tony Romo what JLo did to Ben Affleck in my brain), the Lions (they just suck), the Steelers (good team I just don’t get any pleasure from watching them)

    Despite differing tastes- I love that you talk about football 🙂

  22. Hey Joe,

    I live about three miles from the storied frozen tundra (not tundra, rarely frozen) of Lambeau Field. I go by it on most days. I’d be happy to stop, pat it on it’s green, burly side and say, “Joe loves ya, baby.” But, what’s in it for me? 🙂

  23. Joe,

    I’m with you on the Raiders and the Eagles. The Raiders have been my second favorite team since they trounced the Birds back in Superbowl XV. But…the Cowboys? Boo and/or hiss! Yup. I’m on that side of the fence.

  24. I like your lists! (for the most part; Eagles are my team so by eagles law we hate the cowboys, but to be honest they are one of the most entertaining teams in NFL history)

    The Colts and Patriots…..i agree 100%, something about when your QB is popular because of his off the field life (Supermodel marrying and now Brady models too, and Mannings commercials, although i do like him more than his brother…)

    Someday (after the passing of Al Davis) the Raiders will be feared again!

  25. Yay! for the Dallas Cowboys!! I grew up watching Roger Staubach, Tom Landry, and Tex Schram as they guided the Team through the 70’s and 80’s. Ah, the games they had against the Steelers….legendary!!

    Thanks for the flashback! 🙂

    *goes off to look at the all the football cards I have aquired over the years*

    -Elisa

  26. No Detroit Lions on your list, Joe? Well, that’s ok. We here in Detroit don’t pay much attention to them either. They get more recognition on the Jay Leno Show than they do on the field!

    Been rewatching Season 5 of SGA lately. Such an awesome show, with a nice long run. Coulda been longer, but I won’t go there!

    With just over a week to go to the SGU premier, I was hoping for more behind the scenes photos and stories and such. Keep ’em coming. Looking forward to the premier, although I will have to DVR it since I’ll be out of town at a volleyball tournament! Drat!

    Have a great Tuesday!

  27. Hubby and I loathe professional sports of any kind. Except sumo matches, those are cool. But all that money… professional athletes are grotesquely overpaid.

    We had a hawk sitting in the grass in the backyard last night, apparently injured. We sat and watched him and he watched us back. Mostly we stayed out back because the neighbor’s cats are outdoor kitties and none to bright when it comes to large birds which can shred their little kitty faces. We’d called the raptor rescue, but didn’t need them after all, he decided to fly after an hour long rest.

  28. Could you please do the same 5 and 5 with the NHL? I’d be really interested in seeing your picks.

  29. And since tomorrows my birthday I’ll be bold and make another request: 5 and 5 with your favorite, least favorite sports.

  30. First – Good News. I don’t have pig (or any) flu.

    Second – Bad News. I’m still running a 101 degree fever…it’s probably just a generic virus.

    Third – Good News. I get to stay home and sleep all day! 😀 (Which, obviously, I’m not doing at the moment…)

    @Sparrowhawk – I’ve almost gotten punched in the face by strangers for expressing my dislike for football, and I don’t voice my opinions in public as strongly as I did here. Several of my husband’s cousins think I’m a bitch because whenever they’re watching football, I say something snarky about it. Am I pushing buttons on purpose? Yup – because I feel the fan reflects the mentality of the sport. For instance, if I say, ‘so, are the players purposely posing for the camera?’ (an ‘innocent’ question 😉 ), and Cousin Bob says, ‘Yo! If you don’t get the game, get the hell out of the room!’…well, then it just reinforces my opinion of the sport, and the fans of the sport. MUCH worse than tramps and teamsters, lemme tell ya!

    @ cherluvya – Yer welcome! 🙂

    @ Narelle – Yeah – fans can ruin a game. Not sure how Aussie Rules fans are, though. As I understand it, most rugby fans are just fun-loving drunks, prone to taking off their clothes. And football (a.k.a. soccer) fans are just plain ol’ hooligans! American football fans tend to overdo the whole ‘macho’ thing…and I’ve never been a fan of chest-beating machismo. (Sorry Joe, I know that breaks your heart. 😉 )

    @ Shirt’n’Tie – Wait. Don’t you agree with me on EVERYthing??! If not, you must try to correct that. 😉

    @ otros ojos – Wait. Do you mean they had flowing white hair, gothy leather coats, and extra nostrils on their face??! Now THAT I’d have to watch! 😀

    @ DP – I hate tights – even on superheroes (but I deal, since they’re only comics). But on real men? Blech. It’s even worse. Just not a fan of the look, and I don’t find it sexy at all (I don’t care for tight jeans on a guy, either). It looks very effeminate to me. Kinda weird, since I like effeminate-looking (a.k.a. pretty) men, but NOT when it comes to their clothes. A beautiful man dressed in loose jeans and a flannel top is more appealing to me than some emo guy poured into his clothes. Probably why I loved the grunge rocker look a decade or so back. I mean, who was hotter than Eddie Vedder in Docs, baggy shorts and a ratty flannel shirt??! And then there’s Johnny Depp – the most beautiful creature on the planet – who’s created his own style of vagabond chic. Mmm-mmm-MMM! Yeah, I kinda go for the whole hobo look… 😛

    That said, you also must remember that I watch rugby, and they just wear shorts…shorts that have been known to get pulled down in a tackle…

    ..

    .

    Hey! Didya know that some rugby players don’t wear underpants?? 😀 Brings a whole new meaning to ‘ball’s out of the ruck’…

    das

  31. Unlike Das, I don’t loathe football but I think it should be viewed as a “GAME”. College’s seem to spend vast amounts of money on the football players but don’t seem to care about academics. It seems a shame that ball players get paid more than the president, doctors, physicists and etc…

    I’m glad I didn’t marry someone addicted to sports though. He is more into “The History of _____ (the razor, gum, the toliet, firearms, etc..).

    The picture on twitter is so cute. I’ve seen a dog brought in to the animal hospital for a ball stuck in his mouth once. We had to sedate the dog and cut the ball into pieces. It CAN happen! 😉 . Never underestimate what an animal can get into.

    Tam

  32. Coucou Joseph! Me voila!

    ça va? moi oui toujour la forme^^!

    Oh quel dommage que le football américan ne soient pas diffuser en France. Sinon j’aime le foot (soccer) vous regardez ça ? Avez vous une équipe favorite?

    Gros bisou!
    A plus tard!

  33. Ack! My Rams don’t even rate. Hate Dallas, always have, always will. I lived in Colorado for awhile and got orange crush fever, so love the Broncos. Packers are a home grown team, and play in arctic weather, in shirt sleeves. Love their grit, and fan support. I feel the same way about the Vikings.

    Chargers and 49er’s are California teams, so I gotta love them too, in good times and bad. The Raiders are idiots. They need to move to another state.

    I long for the days when professional football was about the game, or at least the illusion of it, not about business.

    @2cats Thanks! I’ve been very lucky in life, and still vertical. So no complaints! 🙂

  34. Joe,

    You hate the Broncos in part because Pat Bowlen wears a fur, but you like the Raiders despite the fact that Al Davis continues to wear leisure suits?
    The fur coat is stupid, and I completely understand that, but the leisure suit is just plain ridiculous. I figured with your refied fashion sense, you would have an issue with that.

    Whoever Alex Levine is, he’s ok in my book!

  35. @ Tammy Dixon – Wot??! How DARE you! Football is a RELIGION!!!!

    😛

    Oh, and I wanna meet your husband and share ‘histories of’. I love learning about ‘stuff’…and boring people to death about it at parties. 😀

    das

  36. Hey, Joey…

    Do you mind if I call you Joey? I kinda like it. 😀

    Anyway…I’ve noticed you haven’t posted any pictures of yourself lately. Some of us are disappointed. I mean, we’ve been sitting here for a while, twiddling our thumbs, just waiting for a chance to play Gigolo or Mafioso.

    😈

    (Don’t ban me for that – it’s my raging fever talking, I swear!)

    das

  37. Oh yeah…my Green Bay Packers! It’s a little-known secret, but when you move out of Wisconsin (my home state) they make you sign an oath in green ink swearing lifetime fealty.

    It’s really not a football game unless you’re tucked amidst 75,000 fans in the crazy, blowing snow and squinting through the stuff to see that there’s still a game going on down on the field. Aaaah, the memories.

    Those are surpassed only by being in the marching band on the field itself. Even better was sitting on the rolled-up field cover waiting for the half so we could perform, and having Sterling Sharpe make a record-setting catch just feet from me. Awesome.

    And yes, Alex Levine rocks.

  38. I’m only concerned with two teams you didn’t mention: Cleveland Browns (I work down the street from their stadium and am a diehard fan) and Pittsburgh Steelers (we hate them on principal, and always will).

    Apropos of nothing, Joel Goldsmith is a genius. I finally figured out why the music from SG-1’s “1969” – played while the bus travels down the road – is so familiar. It’s similar to the background music to Fleetwood Mac’s Don’t Stop Thinkin’ About Tomorrow. Genius!

  39. We are more Hockey fans in our household.

    Football – not a fan for two reasons:

    1. Just don’t like it because it seems too Neanderthal-like;
    2. We live near Buffalo.

    Enough said.

  40. @das – “painted on tights”, “poured into his clothes” – you use choice visual imagery to describe something you claim to disdain. Fever again, huh?

    My apologies for hashing this topic that threatens to objectify men on your blog, Joe, but you brought up football and this is all there is to football for some of us. I’m sure those men have some very good football skills and maybe even minds, too, but they’re the ones dressing that way.

  41. @ Maggie & Tammy–so glad to know there are other a-athletics (like apolitical, atheist) out there!

  42. I was raised in San Diego, the only girl with 3 older brothers. It was self preservation to learn to love football. Now I adore it, although I’m a much bigger fan of college, since my town doesn’t have a pro team, and I’m both alum and staff at my alma mater which has a wonderful team albeit didn’t do so good last Saturday *sob*.

    Favorite team are the Chargers. Why? Raised in San Diego, ’nuff said. Second favorite: was New England, until the last couple of years – they’ve gotten too cocky. I also root for Bengals (love the helmets), the Packers for exactly the reason you said – no woosy domed stadium for them, and the Saints, also for the reasons you stated.

    Most hated (sorry, Joe): The Raiders. Why? Grew up in San Diego. ‘Nuff said.

    When Al Davis returns to his home in Hades, where I’m convinced he’s from, I could learn to like the Raiders. Until then….

  43. I forgot to add that I admire Belichick’s coaching prowess; but his intensity and willingness to cheat, in order to win at any cost, reminds me unfavorably of George S. Patton. (Referring to Patton undercutting his fellow generals.) Still, the Patriots rock the house. Theirs and mine, both.

    @das – Do you mean they had flowing white hair, gothy leather coats, and extra nostrils on their face??! Now THAT I’d have to watch!

    *nods a lot* Yep, that was how the whole team looked when they weren’t playing. They just had to mask their real selves during games so they wouldn’t get called for “unsportsmanlike conduct: intentionally scaring the crap out of the opposing team.” – Take Howie Long (which a lot of women would gladly have done): In his early years, he was downright pretty, and had long, flowing locks, so had to have been tough as nails to take the locker-room ragging. Eyes that bored bullet-holes right through you, so very intimidating; could be mean as a rattler when playing; and on top of all that, the dude is smart. I could say more, but I didn’t really pay that much attention to him when watching NFL Films. *coughs*

    I mean, who was hotter than Eddie Vedder in Docs, baggy shorts and a ratty flannel shirt??!

    *faints*

  44. @artdogspot: Ahhhh, hockey. – LOL re. not being that big on football because you live near Buffalo. Good luck to the Sabres.

    @Shirt ‘n’ Tie: There’s “The Great One,” and then there’s Bobby Orr. And Ray Bourque, and …. “ The offense wins the story, but defense wins the glory.”

  45. Being a) a Brit
    and b) me
    todays post was WAAAY over my head, I mean like WAAAAAY over(thats 2 extra A s)

    Don’t do sport unless and until they declare reading to be a sport (and why not? after the battle I read last night [James Barclay “Demonstorm” ] I needed an extra hour in bed this morning, can’t fight, save several dimensions AND function early in a morning like I used to!) Chasing a bit of leather around after that is just So….uninspired:)

  46. Well, Joe, how do you feel about reading athlete autobiographies?

    Sebastian Deisler aka Basti Fantasti is coming out with a book next week: “Zurück ins Leben. Die Geschichte eines Fußballspielers.” Initial talk is that he gets deep about football and issues he’s had like depression. It’s kind of balsy I think, I don’t know of many men who would confess up to something like “depression.” It’s like confessing that you’ve ever had Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing his honesty or the seriousness of these conditions. It’s just that most men clam up when it comes to talking about stuff that “really” hurt in a way that isn’t so outwardly obvious. I was impressed when you wrote about your toothache a while back. You didn’t stand on macho pretenses. Besides, confession is good for the soul.

    Deisler’s contract ended in June 2009, he’s probably just now breathing the fresh air of his freedom.

    A Sebastian Deisler find on the tube:

  47. uh- New Englander here, however, I am with das ( hope you’re feeling better, das) on football. The rules always seem to change.,depending on who is suppose to win a particular game. oh yeah, right,sports aren’t rigged, c’mon.

    But on a different note… what happened to the caption contests and weird food purchases??

  48. Both my husband and I are from New York, so we are New York Giant fans. In fact, so much so, we have an inflatable 7-foot (or is it 9-foot)

    http://twitpic.com/ir0ax

    And a “Build a Bear” Giant bear:

    http://twitpic.com/ir0df

    We also have a superfan that you turn on and it dances, but I haven’t taken a picture of it, and my digital camera has disappeared into the paper mess that has become my office. We have a Giants Christmas ornament, Christmas stocking, coffee mug, t-shirt, etc. However, I stopped short of buying the Giants logo salt and pepper shakers.

  49. @das, I hope the fever gets better, but it is making for some funny copy.. Johnny Depp(yeah baby!!) and the sentence about the rugby players, hmm..thanks for putting THAT image in my head. HA ha.(see joe. no smiley)
    – I will say Go Steelers. even if I don’t actually sit down and watch football, it is a sport that some can get caught up in cheering for. and football means fall and the leaves are turning, Happy 1st day fo fall, btw. But lets not even think about winter, yuck,poo, Wullerton, spit. (gotta think canadian to get that wullerton, spit thing)

  50. Oh, Joe-oe…. The Colts beat the Cowboys 27-23 last night, didn’t they? 😀

    Pol, and other Green Bay Packers fans, look for my post above if ya want to see a pretty picture of Lambeau field.

  51. Das,
    Are you basking in the warmth of a Halogen Sun lamp today? Didja use it to do all that bookwoork this weekend? Now you can use it to read while you recover from the FLU</strike er, fever that makes you dislike men in football pants. 😛

  52. You know, when I was younger I liked the Dolphins because they had the prettiest uniforms in my mind. I don’t watch football all that much to be honest. I was in the marching band in high school so football games were maore a chore than fun.

    My roommate loves the Packers, to the point where I got her a cheese head for her birthday yesterday. My family likes the Lions (I think just because we’re from Michigan) and every Thanksgiving they watch the game like they expect them to win. Last year I tried to tell them they would lose and turn off the tv; it didn’t work.

    I do like college football, but I didn’t until I got to college. It helps when you have a good team. I can prove my team is good by the fact that we’ve won our conference a couple times in the past few years and that we totally beat Michigan State a week and a half ago.

  53. I just noticed that Robert Picardo’s 25th anniversary is coming up. Just thought I’d put that out there for anybody who’s interested.

    FYI: that’s the silver one.

    By the way, anyone who has ever metriculated at or in any way supported the University of Florida will never see heaven.

  54. @ DP – I must admit to being one of those women who prefer the mystery of baggy drawers. It allows the mind to run wild, just wondering what might be flopping around in there. Tight pants both take away that mystery, plus make anything stowed away in them look like it’s strangled in shrink wrap. Not very appealing to me. And that Howie Long fella was a looker (finally found a young picture of him)…but not necessarily my cuppa. I go more for guys that look like this:

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/jamiecbower.jpg

    Only, of course…a wee bit older…like…ya know… 23. 😀

    @ Airelle – I woke up about 6 pm from my nap, and my fever was over 102. I think it has something to do with watching hour upon hour of Lewis episodes. Not really sure why someone as ‘geeky’ as Hathaway appeals to me…maybe it’s just because he’s so pale, though he can make nice puppy eyes…

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/laurencefox3.jpg

    😀

    Fever is down to 100.3. Not really sure what’s up – I feel fine otherwise. Appetite and all is fine, no congestion. Just a bit headachy and wrung out.

    @ FtLoB – Hubby didn’t get the lamp together until AFTER I was done the bookwork! And now my eyes are too sensitive to use it! Mostly I’ve been keeping things dark.

    RE: Football pants. It’s not the fever that makes me dislike football pants…but all that I mentioned above, plus the fact it makes football players look weird and out of proportion, like a cartoon character, something like this guy:

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v54/dasNdanger/bigbugs.jpg

    Yup. That’s about how I see ’em!

    das

  55. otros ojos – Yes, hockey is big w/Sabres. My brothers and friends were all in leagues and we spend a good amount of time in Toronto because it is so close.

    Shirt’n’Tie – we will be observing the Guinness 250 Anniversary toast here. Thanks for the heads up. My husband considers this drink to be the nectar of the Gods. Cheers!

  56. Living in the Dallas/Fort Worth area for the past 40 years, of course my team is the Dallas Cowboys. Always has been, always will be. I toured their new eye popper of a stadium a few weeks ago. Wow!

    And of course, my most hated team is the Philidelphia Eagles. They have the most unruly, drunken, crowd in football. Now that the Eagles have officially become the Half Way House of the NFL, they pretty much represent and mirror their fans well.

  57. Hmmmm…NCIS: LA wasn’t too shabby, either. I like Helen Hunt in it – she’s like Q, or something!

    das

  58. @DAS, isn’t helen hunt much younger? I don’t think that is the “LITTLE” lady’s name, can’t remember it. HI, Kabra, trish, and deni. CRYSTAL RIVER person, we are still looking for you. Please identify yourself! Sheryl

  59. I root for the Browns, but without passion. I can’t watch football on TV. It hurts to even think about. But I love Cleveland… it’s my city. So I root for the Browns and I root for the Indians and I root for that basketball team with LeBron James on it because LeBron is a Clevelander at heart too.

  60. Joe!

    Not the Packers! Noooo! Well, hmm…

    Your Packs beat my Bears (you know, DAH BEARS! from Chicago) in the first game, but there is one more to come in Soldier.

    I agree about the Patriots and the Saints. I live in Miami so I have some place in my heart for the ‘fins. And I first began noticing football when the Redskins made the Superbowl…so I have a place for them as well.

    I dislike the Packers, simply because they are Chicago’s rival. I cannot stand Dallas, never could. Don’t like the Jets, either.

    Loving the fact that NFL is back and thanks for the tip!

    MaryA.

  61. Joe, I once held you in such high esteem because i have always enjoyed your writing. But you have lost that with you admitting that you like the Packers! See I am a huge fan of the Vikings, since I live in Minnesota and the Packers are our arch rival.

  62. Coming in late (as usual) but I love the Baltimore Ravens. The purple and black (favorite colors) and the literary hometown reference to Edgar Allen Poe just seals the deal for me. I’m not from the area and have only been to Baltimore twice in my life, but I think their uniforms are pretty. That, and Ray Rice (Go RU!) is one of their running backs.

    Actually, I’m rooting for teams that carry Rutgers alums on their rosters. That way I don’t feel bad cheering for the NY Football Giants while living in a NY Jets household…

  63. The Bengals AND the Saints! Poor Joe, so many post-game evenings with weeping and gnashing of teeth! I grew up in Cincinnati and lived in New Orleans for 11 years up to right before Katrina, so I root for both of them too LOL. We live in Atlanta now, although I never have been able to get very excited about the Falcons.
    Love the Lulu Plan — always enjoy the doggie pics 🙂

  64. Hi Joe – Now that the SGU premier has been shown, some of us over on Gateworld are quite curious about the photos in Jack’s office at the Pentagon (on the walls, his desk, the credenza, etc.). We’re all very curious as to who and what those photos are of, and would very much appreciate it if you could post them here. Thanks very much. Oh, and was he really playing computer chess while talking to Colonel Young?:)

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