Pursuant to yesterday’s entry regarding the Network Upfronts and their new fall line-ups, one of the interesting things I failed to mention was Cavemen, the new comedy series spun off from the Geico ad campaign of the same name. The commercials were very funny but will the concept prove just as funny as a t.v. show? Well, ABC seems to think so and, to be fair, the mining of 30-second spots isn’t entirely without precedent. Remember Joe Isuzu, the annoying Isuzu spokesman played by actor David Leisure who landed a recurring role on NBC’s Empty Nest? Well, he wasn’t the exact same pathologically lying character he portrayed in the commercials but, really, close enough. And remember the Whassup guys who parlayed their successful Budweiser run into a hosting gig on ABC’s “Best Commercials You’ve Never Seen”?

This got me thinking. Given the veritable goldmine of memorable ads out there, it’s only a matter of time before we see this trend kick into high gear and are treated to a host of commercial-inspired spin-offs . And so I got in touch with my buddy who works at the Central Register for Anticipated Programming, and he was kind enough to pass along a list of some of the ad-inspired shows the networks already have in development. Check ‘em out.

Pepto Bismol Presents: The Search for the Next Diarrhea Dancer – “Nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea!” A behind-the-scenes look at the exhilarating highs and dispiriting lows in the dog-eat-dog drive to join one of the hottest dance groups on television. From the thousands of talented hopefuls auditioning for the coveted spot, only one will buck the odds, blow away the competition, and ass-grab their way to stardom as The Next Diarrhea Dancer.

H.I.M. (Holiday Inn Man) – He’s an enigma, a mysterious stranger with a penchant for danger – and a head for details. Offering the best of all worlds – cop show, medical series, courtroom drama, and then some – H.I.M. follows the exploits of our titular protagonist as he solves crimes, performs life-saving surgeries, and prosecutes hitherto untouchable criminals armed only with the power of his mind, his photographic memory, and the crucial knowledge amassed from whatever he happened to watch in his Holiday Inn hotel room the previous night.

You and Me, MAC PC – One’s cool; the others querulous. One’s got all the answers; the others got all the questions. One’s a gregarious straight-shooter with nary a care in the world; the others an insecure loner with anxiety issues. But when a series of unforeseen circumstances find them sharing a loft in Seattle, these two unlikely roommates discover that, just maybe, they have more in common than they realize. And then again, maybe not.

R.L.S.I. (Restless Leg Syndrome Investigations) – Follows the investigations of a team of clinical researchers as they explore and diagnose cases of Restless Leg Syndrome, racing the clock in a desperate bid to help potential sufferers before they fall victim to…a sleepless night! But given the disorder’s all-too-common and easily misinterpreted symptoms, they‘ve got their work cut out for them. Itchiness. Twitchiness. Creepy-crawly feelings. Is it just a passing sensation or something much, much darker? Only the R.L.S.I. team knows for sure.

Queer As Folk Who Share Snickers Bars in Autobody Shops – Louie and Bobby Ray are two typical redneck mechanics who have their lives turned upside-down the day they unwittingly share a Snickers Bar – and an unexpected kiss. Hilarity abounds as these good ole boys struggle with newfound revelations in a very old-fashioned town.

Dr. Z – In the grand tradition of Oprah and Dr. Phil, Dr. Z dispenses sage advice and heartfelt homilies to problem-ridden unfortunates unable to think for themselves. With his quintessential Teutonic warmth and the characteristic wit and charm of a true Electrical Engineer, Dr. Z offers straight talk, tough love, and a 3 year/36 000 mile warranty.

Samuel Adams: Brewer, Patriot, Time Traveler – Hurled from the past to present-day Boston, Samuel Adams finds himself a charmingly antiquated outsider to today‘s modern world – and the unfortunate victim of a virulent time virus! Doomed to pop back and forth through history, our contemporary Massachusetts his perpetual start and end point, Samuel and his trusty alcoholic side-kick Homeless Ernie Conway travel throughout Earth’s past, present, and future, encountering famous figures, taking part in historically significant events, and ultimately learning that no matter where, no matter when, people will always agree on a good beer.

Today’s pics: Prepping one of the fight scenes for Reunion.

Alipeeps writes: “Do you guys mostly film one episode at a time or are you constantly still fitting in scenes from other episodes etc?”

Answer: Are you kidding? Just the other day, we were shooting a scene from our first episode, Adrift.

Alipeeps also writes: “You guys started shooting This Mortal Coil this week, right?”

Answer: That is correct. We started shooting out on location on Wednesday.

Crazymom writes: “How do you decide what to say in your blog, other than the food reviews?”

Answer: It all comes down to what I feel like writing about on a given day.

Redtwin writes: “Do you know when cast photos for season 4 will be coming out?”

Answer: Sorry, no idea.

Redfox000 writes: “How do you find time to go through book as fast as you do, write for Atlantis, and do all the food reviews?”

Answer: I have a clone on each.

Susan the Tartan Turtle writes: “Have you ever watched imports from the UK?”

Answer: Sure. Dr. Who, Spooks, Wire in the Blood, Little Britain to name a few.

Anonymous #1 writes: “Can you explain what Martin meant by…”The end of Season Three was essentially a soft reset,” Gero tells GateWorld. “That doesn’t last as long as some of us would have liked it to, for a number of reasons. But it is with Carter and Weir and stuff like that.”

Answer: This one’s a question for Martin. I read and re-read that last part numerous times and still can’t make sense of it.

Mel writes: “I’m currently reading “To Kill a Mockingbird” for a psychology class. I’m liking it so far. I realize that you mainly stick with sci fi, but have you read it, perchance?”

Answer: I read it way back in high school and liked it a lot. I remember liking the movie a lot too.

Michelle writes: “I would add Heroes to my must-see list — have you not given it a try?”

Answer: I did watch the first two episodes.

Zeus writes: “I have not ever had pigs knuckle, have you? Any good?”

Answer: My father used to make them. I liked them a lot.

Stargate Groupie writes: “I was just wondering what were the actors reactions to the Stargate Action Figures that were created of their characters and if a “Joe Malozzi Action Figure” was made was accessories would he come with?”

Answer: Don’t know about the actors’ reactions to the figs. As for the JM fig, accessories would include sidekick pug, foie gras, and Maserati Quattroporte.

Atlantisfannew1 a ecrit: “1)Allons nous connaître beaucoup de nouveaux peuple dans la saison 4 de Stargate Atlantis? 2)Un personnage connu va t il mourir durant la saison 4??”

Reponses: 1) Peut-etre. 2) Peut-etre.

Shirt’nTie writes: “(1) I’m going to Vancouver for the Creation Con in April (2008) Will the SGC set be still up? and (2) Have you ever tried the Irish delicacy Crubeens? (that’s pigs feet!)”

Answers: 1) At this point, it’s hard to say. 2) I’ve tried pigs feet, but not the Irish version. How do the Irish make it?

Anonymous #2 writes: “Have either you or Fondy ever watched “Ugly Betty”?”

Answer: We watched the first episode.

Ben writes: “ I know there are a handful of scripts from both SG1 and SGA that will never leave the writer’s room shelf. 1)Is there any chance you could share what the plot for those episodes might be? 2)Any chance the SG1 scripts might be visited in the future movies/books? 3)When do you start taking reservations for your resteraunt?”

Answers: 1) It doesn’t happen all that often and I have shared a few already. 2) The ones we set aside? Doubtful. 3) As soon as I convince my mother to pick up and move to Vancouver.

Johnny E writes: “I too am a HUGE Joe Kelly Deadpool Fan! The stuff now is good, but Kelly rocked it out! One question, how do you determine who gets their name radomly onto the Show aka your name on the Book of Latin in Window of Opportunity?”

Answer: No one could write Deadpool like Joe. As for the names – blame the directors.

Linzi writes: “I wanted to ask you which has been the most challenging script for you to write in the whole of your career, for any show? Also, can you say why?”

Answer: Without a doubt – This Mortal Coil. There was a lot going on in this script with a lot of information that had to be relayed in as concise and entertaining a way as possible.

42 thoughts on “May 18, 2007

  1. Joe –

    “Anonymous #1 writes: “Can you explain what Martin meant by…”The end of Season Three was essentially a soft reset,” Gero tells GateWorld. “That doesn’t last as long as some of us would have liked it to, for a number of reasons. But it is with Carter and Weir and stuff like that.”

    Answer: This one’s a question for Martin. I read and re-read that last part numerous times and still can’t make sense of it.”

    First – thank you for at least putting this question in your response pool. Obviously, addressing it could cause some controversy, so I appreciate you at least acknowledging it.

    Second – Is there a way we can ask Gero for that answer? Wink, wink, nudge, nudge….perhaps a certain someone with a fondness for fine food and fine furry friends (i.e. pugs) could pass the word along and graciously post the response on his super-special, super-nifty blog?

    And, finally, did I leave any bruises with all the sucking up I just did?

    All kidding aside – I think there are at least a “few” of us who would really love to see Gero’s clarification on those comments.

    Thanks so much in advance.

    P.S. – The Sam Adams show idea cracked me up, of course I live with a man who is on his 4th Beer Tour at Old Chicago (that’s 110 beers per tour, for those who don’t know).


  2. Joe, would you say you are the most snarktastic producer working on the Stargates?

    If not, who else would you pin that title on?

  3. At the risk of sounding repetitive, can you tell us which episodes Torri will be in in season four? You’ve said she’ll be in four, but nobody can come up with the names of the four eps. Only three.

    Also, is it possible she’ll be in more in the second half of the season. So many people are crossing their fingers for that to happen. Elizabeth is such a wonderful character, it would be terrible for her to disappear after those four episodes.

  4. “Do you mean Wire in the Blood? Not Murder in the Blood??”

    Oops. Yes. Thanks.

  5. That is correct. We started shooting out on location on Wednesday.

    Cool. BamBam mentioned he was working with Torri on Wednesday.. does this mean she has some cool stunts to do in TMC or is this more pick-ups from Adrift?

    I like your idea of crossing advert characters with TV shows… I’ve got a great idea for just such a show: it’ll be a reality TV show based on Survivor but with a twist… we’ll call it… No Survivors! And every week some annoying pratt from the world of TV advertising will be abandoned on a desert island to die a gruesome death. First up, Howard from the Halifax adverts! Closely followed by Michael Winner of ESure “fame”… *shudder*

  6. Hi Again Mr. M,
    In answer to your question Crubeens (crúibíní in Irish) are an Irish food composed of salted pig feet or trotters, cooked boiled or eaten with cabbage. They are traditionally eaten using one’s fingers. (very wraith-esque!) Hope the SGC is still there in April. On a foodie matter, have you tried REAL Irish Stew and another speciality Nettle Soup? Thanks for replying…Love the blog! Was fortunate to meet Ms Tapping and Mr Anderson at Avalon in November 06..Great people, looking forward to seeing Ms Tapping in SGA. Thanks again,

  7. Answer: Sure. Dr. Who, Spooks, Wire in the Blood, Little Britain to name a few.

    Love Doctor Who, Spooks and occasionally Little Britain. Have you ever watched Torchwood (Dr Who spinoff with John Barrowman) or Life On Mars (cop who accidentally travels back in time 30 years)?

    Thanks for the pictures 😀 Hope you, Fondy and the pugs are well.

  8. P.S. Forgot to say thanks for the great pics in today’s entry… I love seeing little glimpses of behind the scenes of filming and pics like this are much appreciated. 😀

  9. Um, Bad Guys…

    Dull. Dreadfully dull. And empty. Pretty devoid of any serious moments, interaction, dialogue, etc. Lots of out of character stuff, for Daniel, for the team, for the entire TV show. Not good. Michael Shanks’ assessments of these last two episodes has been spot on. Dire. Cam and Vala episodes continue to disappoint.

    Fading SG-1 Fan

  10. Thanks for the great pictures from Reunion!

    When you’re writing the scripts, how do you choose names for alien technology or speech? For instance, the Goa’uld have the word Mik’ta – I’ve always been curious if that’s a play on director Andy Mikita’s name?

  11. Joe, have you ever had or heard of Mountain Oysters, otherwise known as Rocky Mountain Oysters? If not, you must try them sometime. I’ve heard that they are a delicacy in some states.

  12. i don’t know if you will answer or not, but why did you guys abandon the Ori arc right after Shroud? These last two episodes make no sense at all, and next week looks like a jaffa ep. The Ori are maybe destroyed, a whole whack of Ori warships enter our galaxy, the supergate is still open, and we’re at Mithcell’s high school reunion? Playing goofy rebels? Why were the episodes aired in this order? I think you should have aired LitS, TRNT, Shroud, and then aired more stuff about the Ori and Adria and Jack being back. I can’t figure it out.


  13. Hi Joe, Great fun episode with Bad Guys, it’s nice to have a one-off “lighter” show in-between the enemy alien,dramatic, arc-driven episodes,the whole family enjoyed it.

    SGA seems to be hitting it’s stride with combining action, special effects and small character moments. Tonight’s show was a great example.

    Despite the changes unpopular to some over there, I’m starting to feel the excitement for Season 4 and looking forward to it.

  14. Were you aware that none of the cavemen actors from the Geico commercials will be in the “Caveman” show (which is slated as a mid-season replacement)? *Iz sad*

  15. I was watching “Bad Guys” episode earlier tonight, and the whole cat fight between the hostages gave me a serious flashback to this morning when two of my students had a full-on cat fight in my classroom. I don’t know who set that up, but… the hair grabbing was absolutely identical.

  16. Well, all the episodes from now on (3×16-3×20)are among my favorites, so all my thoughts for the remaining episodes will be positive 🙂

    About The Ark:

    I loved this epi. It wasn’t anything mind-blowing like other episodes this season, but I still loved it.

    The plot was good and entertaining, with a few twists to keep it interesting.

    I loved the deserted space station scenario, and I love any scene with John flying anything (I’m an aviation nut)

    John and Rodney banter. Yes! I always love that!

    It was great to see John and Ronon scenes again. Except for Sateda, we hadn’t seen much John/Ronon friendship interaction this season. We had seen more in season 2 and I missed that. I think it was my only complaint this season, the lack of John/Ronon interaction. John/Rodney and John/Ronon are my fave friendship pairings. So I was so glad to see the scenes with John and Ronon fighting to close the hatches and the scenes after that, with both of them locked in the compartment. Loved them. And we got Ronon whumping! Yes! Now, had we gotten John whumping simultaneously, the moment would have been perfect in my book. But well, I loved those scenes, so I’m not complaining *grin*

    So Ronon is claustrophobic… I love when we get tidbits like this one about the characters.

    Nice to see Lorne and Carson in the rescue mission.

    Loved when a piece of the shuttle or some other space junk hits the window and Rodney is relieved that the windows didn’t broke down so he says “I’m alive!” and then the window starts to crack and Rodney starts screaming “‘m dead, I’m dead” while trying to put his helmet on *grin*

    I loved when Lorne taps Rodney on the helmet 🙂

    I loved when Rodney tells Lorne that they don’t leave their people behind. Like John always does.

    I loved the scenes with Teyla and Jamus, especially Teyla’s last little speech, trying to convince Jamus to open or let her open the hatch.

    John with those glasses and glove, cutting through the door with the torch… For some reason, I loved it 🙂

    So, in short, a very good episode and one of my fave ones this season.

  17. Just curious, has John run out of his secret stash of pheremone bubble bath or is there a sudden dearth of gorgeous aliens in the Pegasus Galaxy? Any chance some of the other guys will get the girl in season 4?

  18. I am perhaps the last person to know this, but I just read in Martin’s interview that the two SG1 movies will be going straight to DVD. I have to admit I’m surprised by this; I was expecting them to follow along the line of The X-Files: Fight the Future and hit the big screen. Can you share how this decision came about?

  19. peut être / peut être ^^!
    …bon je m éditerais sur cette réponse!^^

    merci de m avoir répondu 😉

  20. Central Register for Anticipated Programming


    Very good. I’d be thrilled with a Dr Z series.

  21. Just wonderin Joe, but will we see the Genii in season 4? and also, would you introduce space pirates into future seasons? (unless the travelers are similar then disregard the last question) Thanks alot.

  22. Hey Joe. I was pleased to see the cover for the season 10 DVDs but I’m left wondering, where’s VALA? The wonderful Claudia Black, who’s brought so much to the show, doesn’t seem to be on the cover. Do you guys have any control over things like that?

  23. Thanks for the answers! You are great! 1. Sci-Fi has the best episodes ever going on their website. I know it is like asking who is you favorite kid (or in your case pug) but do you have a favorite episode? 2. You may have covered this already, but being new and knowing you are the all knowing JM, what was with the longer break this winter/spring? Thanks again for the great writing and service you provide here.

  24. I noticed your comment that you don’t dig on touristy sites anywhere… what kind of places in Vancouver do you enjoy visiting besides restaurants?

    Also, how far along are Robert and Brad in working on the new show (or is that on the backburner while they finish the first two movies)?

  25. Hi Joe,

    You should be getting a package from the Save Elizabeth Weir campaign any day now. So be on the lookout.

    We think you’ll enjoy it! 🙂


  26. Joe, there are some of us over at Gateworld who are wondering if the transparent displays used on the Atlantis sets are real or props. Could you please clarify the issue?

    Thanks a bunch!

  27. Est-ce que vous vous interessez aux audiences de Stargate dans les autres pays comme en france ?

  28. I can’t figure out how something mildly amusing in a 30-second commercial could be spun into a TV show, even a mildly amusing one, but stranger things have happened!

    When my sister was little, she told my parents that for Christmas she wanted “that diarrhea doll.” Mom and Dad were puzzled until they were watching TV one evening and saw a Kaopectate commercial with a wind-up doll that walked across the screen and then suddenly wound down. We still give her a hard time about that.

  29. Hi again Joe!

    Wonderful piccies of Jason! Thanks! Ronon has really grown on me in season 3, and I’m looking forward to more of him in season 4.

    Thanks for answering my question and explaining that This Mortal Coil was the most challenging script for you to write.

    Are you pleased with the end product? Has it been a labour of love, or a thorn in your side?


  30. Is there a date you guys are trying to finish The Ark of Truth completely-shooting and post production by? Could you tell it to us? Will you give you your review once they’ve finished it?

  31. What episode of Atlantis is Zac Selwyn going to be in and did he make the final cut?

  32. Joe,

    Have you checked out the latest swelling over Carter hate over at Gateworld? People are pissed, and they’re bashing Carter, Amanda, and whoever else they can think of left and right. I hope holding Amanda to her contract is worth it to the show, because as a Sam fan I’m having a hard time putting up with it all right now. I think commanding Atlantis could be a good thing for Carter, but I don’t know that it’s worth all the damage that the character is taking because of it.

  33. Thanks a bunch for taking the time out of your day to blog and answer our questions. These glimpses behind the scenes of Atlantis are really appreciated.

    My question: Do you think the internet has helped or hurt the Stargate franchises?

  34. Has the cast and crew adjusted well to the changes in cast members? Do they still miss working with those people they have worked with for 3 years?

    Also wondering if you could put up some ‘This Mortal Coil’ photos.

  35. Mr. Mallozzi,

    Gateworld lists Mitch Pileggi and David Nykl as guest characters in “Be All My Sins Remembere’d”. They also mention that the Apollo will be in this episode. Will Michael Beach be returning in this episode as well? Will the Apollo and her crew be returning much more in SGA? Thank-you for your time.

  36. Wow, I loved “Bad Guys” the other night. It’s so nice to see SG-1 take a break from the drama and have a little fun. As a writer, if you had to chose one (not a combination of both), would you rather write a comedy or a drama?

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